A Nice Hard Slap – Offended By Religion.

Monday
was my daughter’s first day of Pre-K and the first time in her life [and
presumably for the rest of it] a Monday-Friday regiment has been
installed. For the first two years it was my charge to be “Daddy Day
Care” followed by a nice balance of her parents and he grandparents,
coupled with three days a week of day care. Now what we gain in
structure we lose in flexibility as I’m getting her every day before
three o’clock rather than my wife getting her at five-thirty. Upon
picking her up on Monday I wanted to reward her for a successful first
day at school. She handled it really well and since she’s into unicorns
now I figured I’d procure one of those assholes for her.

Not a real unicorn, mind you. I’m fresh out of magical dream seeds.

Toys
‘R Us is a depressing store. Packed with sensory overload of shit
beating kids over the head with product to separate parents from their
money, the place represents a lot of what’s wrong with the world with
its Hannah Montana Yu-Gi-Oh and other assorted flash in the pan
bullshit. Instead of going there and having to deal with my daughter
not being satisfied with anything less than a rocket sled powered by
smiles, I chose to go to a really quaint little “Mom ‘n Pop” place in
John’s Creek called Giggles. It’s a nice joint that has a lot of
learning toys and stuff not totally geared towards the lowest common
denominator in braindead kid’s entertainment. A lot of science stuff as
well as classic toys like Playmobil, Lego, and the like. There’s also
cheap little odds and ends but as a parent who loves toys more than
most it doesn’t insult the intelligence nearly as much.

So,
we arrive at Giggles. Larry Drake was nowhere to be found. Instantly
upon walking into the place I am bombarded by a boom box playing loud
and overtly glorified Christian music. Lots of praise and fellowship
and whatnot. Giggles is not a religious store. Believe me, I asked. Yet
there piping through the place is tons upon tons of Jesus
name-dropping.

It offended me. Seriously.

If
a public place is going to be playing music, especially a kids store,
it needs to either play kid’s music or extremely neutral music. As
much as I hate XM’s Watercolors station, it’s as docile and unassuming
as music can be [and it gives people an improper opinion of what jazz
music is] and… appropriate. Christian music, in addition to being
extremely bland and annoying just on its performance aspect alone, does
not belong in a store that is not an official Christian store. End of
discussion.

John’s
Creek is a suburb of Atlanta [formerly called Alpharetta, where I lived
until the local government wanted to tax me again] populated heavily by
people who are Hindu, Muslim, and Buddhist, as well as numerous other
religions. It’s where a lot of the affluent people migrate to. It’s a
good area, despite the fact my presence brings property values down. A
lot of non-Christians shop there. So, hearing Christian music at a
regular shop incensed me. So much so that I took my business down the
way to a used book store where a lovely little unicorn stuffed animal
was purchased.

I’m
going to give Giggles one more shot and either they need to slap a fish
on the door or turn that stuff off the radio. I’m already dealing with
finding a balance of how much I can tolerate in my own home in regards
to such matters, I don’t need it when I’m in a store I choose to be a
patron of. My wife takes my daughter to church, they do the Sunday
School thing. With my blessing just so long as it doesn’t become too
crazy. I have too many people in my life that have let religion turn
them into bizarre automatons, I won’t let it happen to my own kid. One
day recently we were talking about my daughter being respectful towards
her mother because she’s the only one Sofia had, and my daughter
coughed back something she heard in Sunday School. “I have two fathers
though… you and God.”

A piece of me died that moment.

It’s
bad enough that some regular business have to proclaim that they’re run
by Christians, that Jehovah’s Witnesses still knock on my door despite
the big “No Soliciting” sign in the middle of it, and that I have no
defense against the Yoga Flame… people need to learn that if you
really believe you’re involved in something special with your religion
and that your religion has it right, it should be enough to sustain you.

But
keep it to yourself. At least when it concerns a place that is wisely
free of religion. There are no shortage of places in this city where
religion is the purpose, let’s allow the other places their own
glorious neutrality.

-
Nick Nunziata is not anti religion, despite all evidence pointing to such.

Before
I go, here’s the latest thing I’m adding to the blog. Each day I blog I’ll
have a song, a piece of artwork, a photo, a Mary Worth, or something to
further justify your click and to give the trolls a little more ammo. Today, CANCERS AND BROKEN DREAMS, from the last Killing Swarm CD:


Drums – Steve. Guitars – Micah, John. Bass, Vocals – Nick.