If there’s one thing I learned from living within gimlet-hurling distance of New England for five years, it’s that you don’t want to come down on the wrong side of the Essex-Bedford turf war. John Cheever made this mistake early in his literary career, and was buried toe-less as a result. And today, as you can see from the below photos, the production of Indiana Jones and the **** ** ***** ****** learned this regional, onerously accented lesson the hard way.

And I’m done trying to spice up these images, which, to the best of my knowledge, are exclusive to CHUD. What you’re looking at is the Essex Steam Train. According to our source, this vintage choo-choo ferries "tourists and sightseers up and down the Connecticut River". As for what’s going on aboard this train… well, boys and girls, I’ll leave you to speculate on your own because my excitement level for this movie couldn’t be any fucking lower! The sooner Spielberg moves on to Lincoln, the better.