A Nice Hard Slap – Why Tropic Thunder will win the weekend.

Retards cannot drive themselves to the theater. That’s one extra sale!

Retard Math tells us this:

Retard + Chaperone = Two Tickets

I think that’s all it needs to get over the hump. The movie is terrific, which doesn’t hurt. It also handles the “retard” stuff so well and in such a fresh way that I cannot believe people are picketing the movie. Then again, picketers tend to suck. Unless they’re picketing something worth picketing. Like injustice. Or a molester being acquitted. Or people realizing there won’t be a Rapture and wanting their collection money back.

Some more Retard Math for extra credit:

Regular Person + Ten or more The Dark Knight ticket receipts = Retard
Nickelback CD + DNA = Retard
Napoleon Dynamite Merchandise + Skin = Retard
Retard + Money = Attractive to Women
Retard + Internet Access = Talkbacker
Retard + Shark = Dead Shark
Retard + Zombie Idea = Everyone in Hollywood
Gay Retard = Flamer Retardant
Retard + Retard = The Perfect Human


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Nick Nunziata is tormented about pleasing an unpleasable readership and is therefore retarded. Also, unpleasable is not a word.

Before
I go, here’s the latest thing I’m adding to the blog. Each day I blog I’ll
have a song, a piece of artwork, a photo, a Mary Worth, or something to
further justify your click and to give the trolls a little more ammo. Today, a new track from LOBSTER, the upcoming album from The Lucky Nightsticks. I present to you TRAWLER:


Drums – John, Bass – Steve, Guitar – Nick