’ve all been dying to get into the sex lives of a bunch of shallow women entering their 50s, and now we can! The movie version of Sex and the City is going to finally happen after a couple of years of hemming and hawing on the parts of everyone involved. This is standard practice – it usually takes a couple of years for it to become obvious that nobody from a particular popular show is going to actually have a career; this is why Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans can still hold out hope for a movie as long as Sarah Michelle Gellar’s career remains on its current trajectory.

The movie, which starts shooting this fall, will be at New Line. The original quartet of awful women will be back: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall, whose reluctance two years ago (she wanted the same salary as Parker!) had kept the movie on ice. They could have easily written her out of the film; what is she, 70 already? Open the movie, Big Chill-style at her character’s funeral, and have a morgue attendant fucking her corpse. That would have been just about her speed.

I don’t know how the show ended, but since it wasn’t with Bob Newhart waking up, anything can be retconned or changed. I imagine that Parker’s character ended up with Chris Noth’s character, who went on to be a part-time detective in New York City’s major crimes unit; that relationship could always have broken up. Perhaps they could open the movie like Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Parker has been promoted to editor of whatever rag she writes for and Persis Khambatta is the new sex columnist. Meanwhile, Kristin Davis is on her homeworld of Vulcan and Cynthia Nixon has grown a mustache.