grew up
on the original Hasbro Transformers TV show like a lot of
you, and (hopefully) like a lot of you, I’ve since come to appreciate the
mindless entertainment it gave me as a child, but need nothing else from this
property. I don’t need the special edition of the animated movie. I don’t need any
season set DVDs. I’ve heard “The Touch” enough times for the rest of this
decade. Probably the next one, too. And it’s not age that’s put distance
between me and the unnatural love for the adventures of giant robots. It’s not Michael Bay’s live action version, which I’m
looking forward to as much as the next person. No, I checked out somewhere in
between the 3rd and 87th incarnation of the TV show,
which has been re-used, recycled, and reconceived more times than pretty much
any show has a right to.

I could
list a few of the incarnations here, ranging from the multiple Beast
CGI series to the “enhanced” recycling of the originals with weird
computer effects, and I still would barely be scratching the surface. What they
all have in common, however, is that they exist only to introduce new toys from
Hasbro and to completely disregard the preceding version. And since Hasbro is
still around and Bay’s version resets whatever passed for continuity yet again,
the time appears ripe for yet another animated Transformers show. This go-round,
Hasbro is working directly with The Cartoon Network and the creative team
behind their puzzingly successful and headache-inducing Teen Titans show.

helpful descriptor given that it’s airing on The Cartoon Network) won’t even bother trying to follow up behind
Bay’s film, instead repositioning Optimus Prime and the rest to a future Earth.
In this time period, the battle between Autobots and Decepticons is mostly
sidelined as the Autobots now will face off against mostly human villains in a
role akin to a superhero group much like the Justice League or Avengers. Given
the creative team behind the show, it’s said to also feature a lot more “humor”
and “human qualities” in the robots. All of which seems to indicate this will
be silly pseudo-Manga nonsense that will air incessantly over the few animated shows
with any semblance of substance or nuance simply because Cartoon Network has an
ownership stake of the show…kinda like how Teen Titans did over the badly
mistreated and vastly superior Justice League series.

initial order is for 26 episodes, but unless they instantly cause cranial
explosions in small children, I’m pretty sure this will endure beyond that and will
ensnare a few children into the dark, dark world of TransFans. Well played,
Hasbro. Well…..played.