might be straying into alarmist territory here, but is consenting to work with the director of Wild Hogs, a pair of Scientologists and Robin Williams (whose impressive/depressing five-film 2006 output remains wholly unseen by me) evidence of a death wish? I’m only asking because, prior to taking a role in the worse-than-dining-on-newborns* You, Me and Dupree, Matt Dillon seemed to have his career back on track. He was good in Crash (an overheated movie that is not without its admirable moments), great in Factotum and practically invisible taking down a paycheck in Herbie Fully Loaded. I know I’m not the only asshole who likes watching Dillon work; after all, he did earn a Best Supporting Actor nomination a couple of years ago.

So what the hell is he doing co-starring Mr. Moms aka Old Dogs, the directorial follow-up to Wild Hogs from Walt Becker? "Cashing in, you dipshit!" Okay, that’s fair. William H. Macy is a far better actor than Dillon, and he unapologetically drained the studio teat on Wild Hogs. But at least Macy carves out time in his schedule to do films and plays that are important to him; Dillon just seems to take the next role offered.

For instance, what’s appealing about this? "Dillon will play Barry, the overzealous leader of the summer camp where they take the kids. He is ultraconservative and thinks the two men (Williams, Travolta) are actually gay lovers who have adopted the twins. He keeps a sharp eye on the two at all times."

He thinks they’re gay lovers!!! Wow! There’s potential here. But what would be really funny is if he strapped the two fathers to a fence and beat them to death. Trust me, there’s nothing more amusing than watching faggots die slowly. I expect nothing less from Walt Becker.

*You can read that as eating, say, sushi off of newborns or, literally, scarfing down newborns. I wasn’t trying to be too specific.