PoloFair or not*, TV’s traditionally been seen as the retirement home for film actors whose stars have a lost a little sparkle over the years (despite the recent trend of some fantastic television). So what’s it called when TV staples make the occasional sojourn to the big screen? The Teri Polo (previously known as the David Caruso).

Ms. Polo, the on again (she’s cute and womanly!) off again (please eat something, anything!) girlfriend-cum-wife of Gaylord Focker has pulled a namesake and found work on the big screen in the upcoming crime film Two:Thirteen. Polo will fill the shoes of a shrink-visiting detective chasing down a guy who kills people, made all the more chilling by the fact he likes Shakespeare. Two: Thirteen is being directed by Charles Adelman, the man responsible for DTV hits Sports Illustrated: Girls of (insert warm and sunny locale) and The Zodiak Killer.

In the indie film, currently shooting in LA, Polo rubs shoulders with Clint Howard-impersonator Dwight Yoakam, Mark Pellegrino, Mark Thompson (of Mark & Brian fame) and Kevin Pollack. Proving morning show DJs are more than propagators of bad jokes and publicity stunts, Mark Thompson actually wrote the screenplay. Whether it’s the equivalent of a bad joke remains to be seen.

Polo most recently starred in FOX’s now-cancelled The Wedding Bells, which I vaguely remember seeing a promo for and, not being endowed with a vagina, also vaguely remember not caring about.

* Fair.