Holy shit. Joust: The Movie. I promise I’m not jealous because my HBO Root Beer Tapper mini-series wasn’t greenlit when I say that this impending strike is a fuckfaced retarded asshole poopface.
For the record, Aaron Eckhart would have made an excellent Tapper.
It’s one thing to perpetuate. Keep the gears turning. Hollowood isn’t able to withstand work stoppages any easier than Bank of America [well, unless they acknowledge the millions of amateur filmmakers out there and release their work] so it makes sense. But to greenlight or give attention to projects which are frivolous at best only solidifies the fact that the folks in charge only look at you as meaty wallets to be opened and pilfered from as they allow the lamest ideas to reach fruition simply because they have to make SOMETHING. They are rushing them through the pipeline, putting everything in order except the quality of material and though I think a few great things may escape the system without the typical focus-grouped bullshit ["Can the shark have wings that talk?"] damaging them but since the majority of the stuff getting rammed through reeks of high concept garbage, I doubt it.
I understand the need to get movies in production and applaud the execs who try to get the good shit snuck in there, but even the pop culture stuff I liked that’s getting the big screen treatment is just heartless economics. I’ll retract if someone gets a worthwhile Sectaurs movie released.
Folks I speak to think the strike ain’t gonna happen and if that’s the case what am I going to do with my silkscreened ‘Mappyland – Summer ’08‘ shirts? The only evidence will be a spate of hypothermia causing films that no one ever needed.
A simple solution would be to dig through the Fillions of original scripts already in the studio vaults, marked up with extraneous red ink from bullshit coverage and find the next classics and send them through the gates in lieu of Guy Who Farts Samurai Warriors, R.L. Stine’s Teen Bumps, or Dane Cook’s Acne Lover but that would require tact. Variety should just run a full-page ad from Hollowood saying "FUCK YOU, Love Us" for us fools to fall in sway with. Something that gets ulterior motive out of the way and evens the playing field.
I hate people who illegally download movies and brag about it but this just goes to show that both sides are capable of being lazy, dumb, and reckless with our time and entertainment dollars.