That right there is the new international trailer for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. I like Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton both but… wow. This looks like The Brothers Grimm meets Van Helsing by way of Ultraviolet, ie a recipe for disaster. There are blind, legless post office workers who could still manage better delivery than what’s on display in that above trailer. The film opens January 11, 2013, and of course it’s in 3D. Here’s a non-3D synopsis if you’re feeling brave:

Catching up with Hansel (Renner) and Gretel (Arterton) 15 years after the traumatic incident involving a gingerbread house, the siblings have evolved into vengeful bounty hunters dedicated to exterminating witches. Over the years, the siblings became expert hunters, famous for their proficiency at tracking and taking down their prey. Although still recovering from their ordeal, their work is relatively easy as for an unknown reason harmful spells and curses do not work well against them.

The Mayor of Augsburg recruits them to rid the town and nearby forests of an evil sorceress (Janssen) who is planning to sacrifice many local children at the witches’ gathering during the upcoming ‘Blood Moon’ night in two days time. To make things worse, the duo also has to deal with the brutal Sheriff Berringer (Stormare) who has taken power in Augsburg and conducts a very indiscriminate witch-hunt of his own.