Entity is one of the greatest movies ever made, and I’m not brooking any lip in response. If you think it isn’t the greatest movie ever made, I ask you this: How many other movies feature not only Barbara Hershey being graphically raped by an invisible ghost, but also let you see the effects an invisible hand has on a boob while copping a feel? How many movies feature Ron Silver as a parapsychologist whose bright idea to defeat the ghost is – I swear to fucking God – build a replica of Hershey’s house in what I believe is a gymnasium and rig it with liquid hydrogen hoses to freeze the specter? And then have it essentially work? What a fucking movie.

Now The Entity is being remade, and I question whether the modern world is zany enough to match the original film. Amy Holden Jones is going to take a shot at it, though – she’s writing the film for Fox Atomic. While Jones is best known as the brains behind the original Beethoven and the writer of Mystic Pizza, she has genre experience, including writing The Relic (!) and directing Slumber Party Massacre.

Sadly, the remake of The Entity is being directed by Hideo Nakata, the humor-impaired guy behind The Ring and Dark Water. This is the wrong choice for the movie – this one needs an Eli Roth-type behind the camera, someone who is going to embrace the basic insanity of the proceedings. Although if Nakata makes the rapist ghost yet another wet Japanese girl I can see fit to forgive him.