What could possibly be the point of a Last House on the Left remake? The brand name only means something to those who’ve seen it, and those who’ve seen it will have little interest in watching a watered-down studio version of a movie that was flawed in the first place (maybe you got more mileage out of the bumbling deputies subplot, or maybe you’re just too in love with Martin Kove; it happens). But Rogue Pictures is moving forward with producer Wes Craven (who is pressing to remake all of his horror efforts, including Music of the Heart), and they’ve just landed their director in Dennis Iliadis.
I’ve never heard of the fucker, but he directed a Quentin Tarantino homage called Hardcore which was so good it has yet to receive U.S. distribution. If this were a Tsai Ming-Liang film, the lack of a U.S. distributor would be a good thing, but since this movie was apparently inspired by a genre/filmmaker somewhat popular with the American market… I have no idea what Rogue is thinking. Then again, these are the folks who promoted Hot Fuzz to the American mainstream like it caused leprosy, so let’s not put a whole lot of stock in what they think. And, by the way, I’d pay upwards of $200.00 U.S. to see Tsai Ming-Liang’s Last House on the Left.
If you enjoy movies in which women are raped and murdered, you’ll be happy to hear that Rogue’s remake will incorporate these crucial elements. The film, which will be written by newcomer Adam Alleca, will also culminate with the killers seeking refuge in the house of one of their victims’ parents. If you’ve made it this far, you probably know that The Last House on the Left was itself a remake of Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring, which is one of the Swedish director’s most heavy-handed allegories. For the record, I’d pay well over $10,000.00 U.S. to see Bergman’s remake of The Last House on the Left. $20,000.00 U.S. if you get Max von Sydow to play the head rapist. $100,000.00 U.S. if he does the whole film nude with a phony Italian accent.