paid to do chicks. Short of getting paid to conduct breast exams for the 35 and
not obese crowd, could there be anything finer? I dare say no. And Michael
Baisden knows it– dude makes a living writing and talking about it.

To be
honest, I’d never heard of Michael Baisden, who, after surveying his novels and
website, feels like a cross between Dr. Phil, Pimp McGigolo and Danielle
Steele. Either way, Michael’s latest book The Maintenance Man, was just
snatched up by Screen Gems, thanks to their recent focus on "urban
programming", which I guess is corporate niche-speak for targeting
African-American audiences. I’m not African, but I am American, so I can
halfway say this movie is for chicks who like Lifetime Originals and can officially
count me out. Behold:

Julliard graduate Malcolm can’t get a job, he starts pimpin’ his sausage (Note
from Micah: No, Dan….just no
) as a high priced Gigolo. Naturally, the ladies
love his smooth moves and the way he makes them feel like a woman again— but
damn it feels weird to be a Bangsta. See, Malcolm’s feeling a little guilty
about handing out the promiscuously hot lovin’ when he meets the wonderful and
inspiring Toni (with an "I"!). Insert drama as a few more subplots
involve Malcolm’s friend and his creepin’ woman, a club called Obsession (Atlanta’s
hottest, naturally- just ask Nick) and a man-stripper who enjoys the fat cash
ladies stuff in his banana hammock coupled with the bank accounts they come
from. It’s a web of deceit, egocentricism and all that kind of stuff some
ladies love to read on the subway in New
. Just ask Devin.

will write the script with help from Ralph Farquhar, penman of Moesha
and The
. Interestingly, the book was self-published and has already
been turned into a popular stage play and DTV experience. "Interesting"
because this book has been living a life of its own for almost 10 years (it was
published in 1999). "Ly" because this kind of soap operatic stuff,
is, as I mentioned, for chicks and die-hard fans of Danielle Steele’s tales of
trauma. And I’m neither.

if you are, don’t feel bad- just look for more news on a release date and
director in the coming weeks and months.