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STUDIO: A&E
MSRP: $59.98
RATED: Unrated
RUNNING TIME: 912 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
- Highlights from game #3,121 postgame ceremony
- 2001 All Star MVP Award Presentation
- Rare interviews
- Special Cal Ripken Jr. game footage
- Interactive menus
The Pitch
Cal Ripken, Jr. is an immortal baseball player to many. Here’s a gigantic masturbatory boxed set devoted to the man and his many achievements.
The Humans
Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Billy Ripken. Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Sr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Eddie Murray, Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Brady Anderson, Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Rafael Palmiero, Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Albert Belle, Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr., Cal Ripken, Jr.
If Cal Ripken, Jr. needed any ego stroking. He’s covered until the Mayan Doomsday.
"Before I overemphasize every Latin name, allow me to ask myself an important question and that question is, ‘Mr. Miller, why would you copy Chris Berman’s ass hairstyle?’."
The Nutshell
The
Cubs won back to back World Series titles. You think the fans would
find that fulfilling enough to shut their flaps, but since those titles
were in 1907 and 1908 it appears they may be a little restless. It’s
been 99 years since they won the World Series. The Florida Marlins have
won twice already and they’ve been around only a couple of decades.
That’s why baseball has such a nice tapestry to it. It’s the mixture of
superstition and odd statistics that make the sport so fun. Is there a
"Billy Goat" curse on the Cubbies? Did Steve Bartman scuttle the
chances for an entire season [which led to Marlins title #2]? Is
Alfonso Soriano the latest in a long line of big moves that led to
nothing?
The fun thing about the Cubs, a romanticism that
affects zero other clubs… is that it’s not only acceptable with the
fans that they flounder, but it’s a security blanket they finally have
all to themselves after the Red Sox popped corks in 2004. This set
isn’t devoted to failure, but rather a snippet of shining moments in
the recent past for the team. That said, the cynic in me wants to think
that this set is a concession. There’s joy in here but a lot of it is
seriously tainted.
BJ Surhoff is confused, but not nearly as much as the folks who chose him #1 in the draft.
The Lowdown
Let’s look at what these eight discs focus on and see if I’m right about the tainted nature of this collection:
"Here’s yet another award Cal. How is your brother Fuckface doing?"
The thing that sucks is that the Cubs are
lovable losers. I’d have liked to have seen the Bartman game or the one
where they found the cork in Sosa’s bat. Or some other gem from the
annals of history. Instead, I get to see some Cubs I love [Grace,
Maddux], and one I truly despise [Sosa, don’t get me started on that
egotistical vacuum of intellect] in a setting that seems to be missing
something.
Then again it may just be the trophy that’s missing. With the Cubs though, the void is what makes them whole.
NOT OFF SMOLTZ YOU IDIOT!
These games
are good ones, though for the most part they’re not as dreamy as the
ones in many of the sets which have already seen the light of day,
aside from the somewhat spotty ones devoted to one year’s World Series
[the Chicago and St. Louis one scome to mind as well as the non-Yankees
games in the Boston set]. Those box sets are about world titles, so a
few bum games are part of the deal. When hammering out definitive and
seminal Cubs games, it seems that there were a lot of better choices
out there. I mean, I like the idea of them honoring individual Cubs. It
makes sense, especially in that city where legends are made. I just
think that perhaps the desire to appease Cubs fans became more
important than delivering a box set that would appeal to people who
just love the game.
The Package
These
are the best layouts in the entire world of DVD. One look, unmodified.
Every square inch of space is used and there’s no inserts, instead
relying on the sleeves and transparent holders to convey all the
pertinent info. It’s glorious.
I don’t like the lack of a
"Bonus" disc here, because it makes it harder to find all the special
features scattered around. That said, the quality of these packages is
unmistakable.
My suggestions for the next set:
Duh.
6.0 out of 10