Getting worked up over Tim Allen is so 1992. As long as he stays off the Bolivian Marching Powder, the worst he can do is churn out an innocuously awful family comedy once or twice a year and star in a couple of Wild Hogs sequels (using the trusty sequel math of diminishing returns, I’ve calculated that the Brian Robbins’s franchise can only profitably eke out two more installments; I’m not happy about it either, but you can’t expect the studio to all of a sudden stop slapping together crap when it’s this easy to sell). Besides, everybody knows the true enemy of modern day comedy is Carlos Mencia (time to pick up your joke-stealing game, Dane Cook!).
This is why the news of Tim Allen’s latest Disney laffer, Yosemite Three, engenders only apathy. The only surprise in Michael Fleming’s Variety story announcing this commitment to is the fact that the writers who sold the pitch, Michael Carnes and Josh Gilbert, won Emmy Awards for their writing on The Wayne Brady Show. And this was only alarming until I realized it was a Daytime Emmy, which means their competition was the staff of The View.
Do you care to know the premise? I’ll tell ya anyway. Allen will star as a corporate nine-to-fiver who, along with a couple of co-workers, ditches a boring company retreat at Yosemite National Park to get pissed at a local bar. When the fellas fail to show up after a few hours, they are reported missing. Somehow, this turns into a massive media circus ala Billy Wilder’s Ace in the Hole, but devoid of so very much.
The film will be produced by David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman. Their combined filmography is staggering. To give you an idea, their best film by far is the mildly diverting The Last Shot. Their worst? God only knows. But the IMDB informs me that Lieberman is "college friends" with Elizabeth Banks, so maybe I should be nice.