http://chud.com/nextraimages/southlandtalesposter_CHUD.jpg

How can a poster so well represent the movie it’s for and yet suck so badly? Oh, right…that would mean the movie’s a mess, too. I didn’t want to believe it given the oddly interesting and diverse cast paired with Richard Kelly at the helm, but the word on this flick has been nothing short of poisonous. I don’t see that changing with this new poster.

Or should I say posters? Let’s face it…they were obviously torn between three distinctly different ideas and decided to use them all. A shame none of them were good. You could find individual things to snipe about all day, but there’s something in particular it’s missing to bring it all together. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I saw a higher-res scan and noticed the following in the credits:

Let’s take a look around line five or so….Nora Dunn?…no…..Jon Lovitz….nope…..oh, yeah…Christopher Lambert.

I’m sorry…I mean, CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT.

Why isn’t this being emphasized more? You mean you couldn’t lose the Road Warrior reject in the upper-lefthand corner and have Christophe against his own crimson background saying "Obey" or something else subversive and original? It’s not like Mandy Moore’s mug is gonna sell tickets. But the Lamb Bear…that’s asses in seats. Well, ass in seat, maybe.

It’s this movie’s only hope.