csaI know that as a semi-professional film critic it’s bad form for me to hate a movie not only before it’s released, but even before it’s shot. I just shouldn’t be allowed to hate a movie based only on the barest of plot outlines. I mean, I should be able to look at a film outline that says, “A crazed rapist and killer snuffs the life out of every member of the Faraci family in this documentary,” and hold off on judgement until I see the actual work itself.

Not this time.

The movie is Fan Boys, and the plot is so wretched, so patently sentimental and crummy that it can only be one of two things – a brilliant satire on shitty films with plots like this, or an actual shitty film.

The movie is about a group of friends who go on a roadtrip to the Skywalker Ranch. Why do they go? To bring their dying buddy to see Star Wars there in its best possible setting (although I had heard that this film was a period piece and they were bringing him to see Episode I before the release. I don’t know if that’s true, but it would be awesome if it was the filmmakers had the balls to have the dying kid hate the film).

It’s a coming of age road trip picture with a dying guy that also worships at the tired and bloodied altar of Star Wars. Can you see me getting annoyed here? Filming on Fan Boys starts in February, so by this time next year I should have some really good fodder for annoyance. The Weinstein Co is at the end of closing a deal for the picture, which will be the directorial debut of a guy name Kyle Mann.

If someone out there has this script, send it to me. I need to see this thing.