Just a quick mention on Jimmy Kimmel doing his annual monologue at the ABC upfronts.  THR.com’s Live Feed has a transcript of the late night host’s most recent standup.  Some of the more notable quips:

  • “I
    read in The Times this morning that Jeff Zucker is building a 40-ton
    solid-cement containment dome that he hopes to lower down over the fall
    schedule. Poor NBC, they can’t win.” 
  • But
    there are some very big things going on at NBC. They canceled ‘Law
    & Order’ and picked up ‘Law & Order: Los Angeles.’ You know,
    the last time NBC took a show that had been on for 20 years in New York
    and moved it to LA it wound up as the lead-in to George Lopez on TBS.
  • Fox
    made a weird announcement yesterday. The coveted post-Super Bowl slot
    next year is going to ‘Glee.’ Apparently they’re trying to set a new
    Guinness World Record for most drunk 43-year-old guys saying, “What the
    fuck is this?” all at once.
  • My
    favorite ‘Undercover Boss’  episode was when the president of
    Hooters pretended he didn’t know that Hooters waitresses get sexually
    harassed. if he doesn’t win an Emmy for that, that is…
  • I
    love ‘Lost’ and I’m going to miss it. Watching ‘Lost’ is what I imagine
    it must be like to be trapped inside the brain of Paula Abdul.

You can click over for the full transcript (although most of the best stuff is right here.)