I almost don’t want to report this news, because it’s just going to mean more people getting in the way of my tickets. (Sigh)

But since I love you, it’s my duty to let you know that the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia are taking The Nightman Cometh on tour, and tickets go on sale tomorrow at 9:00 am. New Yorkers- click right here.

As the highly anticipated 5th season of FX’s original comedy series It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia approaches, fans of the hit will have their chance to see the gang up close and in person as they take “The Nightman Cometh” on a multi-city tour. The musical performance was written by Rob McElhenney (Mac), Charlie Day (Charlie) and Glenn Howerton (Dennis) who all star along with Kaitlin Olson (Sweet Dee), and Danny DeVito (Frank) with special appearances by Mary Elizabeth Ellis (The Waitress) and Artemis Pebdani (Artemis).

“The Nightman Cometh” is a live stage adaptation of a fan favorite episode from season four in which Charlie writes a rock opera to woo his longtime obsession, The Waitress. The stage show originally premiered at the Troubadour in Los Angeles last spring and, based on the success and fan buzz generated by the musical, producers decided to bring the live show to six major US cities.

That should be more than enough, right? Set your alarm clocks. Here’s the full list of dates-

Sept 15         Boston, MA              House of Blues
Sept 16         New York, NY            Beacon Theatre
Sept 17         Philadelphia, PA        Tower Theatre
Sept 22         Seattle, WA             Moore Theatre
Sept 24         San Francisco, CA       Nob Hill Masonic Center
Sept 25         Los Angeles, CA         The Hollywood Palladium

If you haven’t watched the show yet or understand what this is, I hate you. It’s the funniest goddamn thing on TV today, so get your ass to Hulu now and watch the first few episodes. Then realize that these are the lamest of the whole show. They’re infinitely rewatchable, infinitely quotable, and great for weeding out potential pod people among your friends. If they don’t find this funny, they just might be…