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Teenage Mutant Christmas Turtles

I was a child of the Turtles era. It’s a shame on what kids miss out on nowadays, where there’s nary a Saturday morning cartoon to be found on network television. Shows like Turtles, The Real Ghostbusters and later on The Adventures of Batman and X-Men served as great entry points into genre culture at a young age. But those days (in quality if not in quantity) are long gone and I would have thought of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as another of the lot of properties dying slow deaths on Hollywood Boulevard had it not been for 2007’s CG revival, TMNT. Now, Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes Recycling Company is tea-bagging another established property to the big screen. And it finally has a date: Christmas Day, 2013.

I don’t know if it’s the Dunes’ involvement or supposed inclusion of director Jonathan Liebesman, but I’m getting a grim and gritty vibe. Which is ironic given that the original 1990 live-action film was fairly hard for a PG (Shredder gets crushed by a garbage compactor). So either the Platinum Dudes are only concerned with making films of safe, established properties; or they’re taking an approach more akin to Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s original comic book – slightly harder fare before the property exploded and was dialed down for kids.

Liebesman has yet to really impress me, and Battle: Los Angeles was one of the worst films I saw in 2011. But I actually think his Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is one of the better Dunes releases, so I’ll allow myself the slimmest of silver linings.

One thing for certain, Zombie Kid has to be elated right now:

Source: Box Office Mojo