From Trois 3: The Escort to I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer to Stomp the Yard, Sylvain White has, in his very young career, demonstrated that he will direct anything provided there’s a steady paycheck in it – which makes him the Winston Zeddmore of the American film industry. In a way, there’s something admirable about a director who keeps booking projects just to keep busy; but when they fail to progress as storytellers or technicians, it’s time to give up on them.
That’s why it’s nothing but a positive development that Sylvain White has been tapped by the enormously untalented Paul W.S. Anderson to take the reins on Castlevania, a big screen adaptation of a Konami video game that featured a whip-wielding hero, Dracula and lots of pesky bats. All I remember about the game is a) what a pain in the ass it was to whip the bats, and b) I beat it.
The whole point of narrative-based video games is finishing the story on your own (either via cheat codes or, in very rare cases, good old-fashioned skill), which is why I’ve never understood how these things continue to spawn movies. What’s the upside of a Halo or Gears of War movie? These things already play (sometimes brilliantly) like interactive films; it’s just that they lack involving, innovative stories. Actually, that’s being way too kind. They’re fucking drivel.
Hopefully, White will lose interest in Frank Miller’s Ronin between now and the completion of Castlevania, which is already on my shortlist for the Worst of 2008.