456Welcome to the third annual Shout at the Devil! column. It’s your opportunity to be heard, to let me know what you’re thinking, as well as what deep seated mental problems you have.

One quick thing before we start this latest edition – you should know how to get in touch with me. Or with any of our writers, for that matter. You see at the top of the article, where it says "By:" and has someone’s name? That name is a hyperlink that will allow you to shoot off an email. I know that it’s not the most obvious link, which is why many people use the "Feedback" button at the end of any given piece to comment, but that only goes to Nick. So if you want to give me an earful, use that link at the top of the article. Or just remember my easy email address: devin@chud.com.

So keep the letters coming in – whether it be love, hate, or questions. Your emails make my day.

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casAnd now a word from the Dark Side

James Stephen Garrett shouts: Bullshit. Face it, the only way "Flight 93" works for you is if your soul buddies the Jihadists fly the plane right up the White House’s tailpipe.
 
I bet you’d give it 10 outta 10, you cunt.
 
Incidentally, fuck you and your ‘work a few blocks from the WTC". I was 4 days and one job offer from working on 101 south tower, so stick your lily-livered little expertise right up your cowardly blame-America ass, you shitbag.
 
Fuck off and die.
 
JSG

Devin says: People ask me why I do all this CHUD.com stuff. Is it for the money? The glory? The pussy? Heavens no. It’s for people like James Stephen Garrett. He’s a fairly regular letter writer, and I think that my collection of missives from the man will one day be of invaluble assistance to law enforcement as they try to unravel his troubled past.

James is upset about a recent story I wrote covering Paul Greengrass’ new film, about one of the 9/11 tragedies. I guess that what his letter shows us is that it’s too bad that he’s not more employable, or I could have been saved a lot of dumb emails over the last four years.

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casThe Christicles of Narnia

Kerry shouts: I enjoyed your interview/article about Narnia. You might know this already…. A Christian Marketing company has teamed up with the makers of Narnia. Very similar to what as done with "The Passion". In fact, it’s the same company.

Here’s the link:

Click here for the link that ‘s too long to print!

Devin says: That’s not a bad move on the filmmaker’s part. Honestly, I never knew that there was anything Christian going on with the Narnia books until I was an adult. And even still, it never gets in the way. I actually appreciate the added layer of allegory, even if it’s about a faith I don’t share.

I’m really hoping this film is good, and if it is, I’m hoping it does well so we can see more in the series. If this kind of campaign helps – cool. Hey, even Christians should be allowed to go to the movies!

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casDots, not feathers

Kumar shouts: Just wanted to say it was great to see a review for a Bollywood film up on a site I already love.  Indian film is lots of fun and the good movies should be experienced by every true fan.  Keep up the good work.

P.S. Rani Mukherjee has been a favorite of mine since my preteen years – god to see you agree with me.

Devin says: She is soooo hot. Especially in this one erotic dance scene in Mangal Pandey: The Rising, the film you’re writing about (my review here!). I have to get a touch racialist here and say that I think India produces some of the most exquisitely beautiful women I have ever seen.

As far as Bollywood goes – I love the energy of the films, but it’s tough to get into them as an outsider. That said, Mangal Pandey: The Rising is very much accessible to most Westerners, plus it’s a pretty damn good movie as well. I would like to expand my reviews to cover more foreign films in general, and knowing that there are people who appreciate that makes it very worthwhile.

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csaDorkon

Mark Van Pelt shouts: Glad to see you’re so interested in the movie – – you should give the game a try.  I donht’ know where your’e located, but you’re welcome to make your way here and get knocked around a little.  Darkon isn’t anything like the “lightening bolt” video, at least not directly.  We’re a full contact, full strength game that allows tackling, grappling, and knocking people down.  While we do have a magic component, you can’t cast lightening bolt 85 times in 30 seconds (even we laugh at that one).  In short, we’re a bunch of aggressive people who like to hit other people – hard.  We do have some magic, but it requires spoken incantations, sometimes very lengthy ones.  An extremely good mage might get a lightening bolt off in 30 seconds or so.  ONE lightening bolt.

As for the people who play our game, we come from all walks of life.  We have everything from high school and college kids to active duty military.  No one profession defines us.  In my country, a few of the careers include physicist, corporate executive, network engineer, doctor, convenience store worker, and at least one unemployed person.  I myself am a real estate agent.  The age range in the game runs from 16 to well past 50, the median age is probably mid-20’s.

I invite you to peruse our rules, philosophy, and the game in general at www.darkon.orgIf you find yourself with questions, please feel free to e-mail.  I’m not one of the club muckety mucks, but I’m happy to answer questions.  Thanks for the mention on your site.

Devin says: Hey, I have to admit that I think you guys are just a touch left of bonkers, but good for you. You’re having fun and you don’t care what others think. That’s especially cool for those of us who like to laugh at what you’re doing. Less guilt and all.

Any obsessive subculture is going to make a good film on some level, but rarely are there any that will as cinematic as a bunch of fat dudes in armor on a soccer field whaling on each other. I can’t wait for this film!

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casRust Never Sleeps

Joe shouts: I just read your articla about Neil Young and his new project. You made a comment about his song, "Let’s Roll". Just curious, but you seem to bash that song. Did you know that its about the passengers on the plane that crashed in Penn. on 9/11 ? Apparently he got the idea after he heard the recorded phone call the gentleman placed to his wife before they took action, and took the terrorist out and crashed the plane. Don’t know if you knew that.

Devin says: Just to be upfront, Joe and I emailed about this. His response, when I told him I did know what the song was about, was pretty priceless: "I wasnt trying to give you a hard time. I just know in the past some of the chud staff likes to spout about things they dont know about." Honestly, I wish I had something to that effect on my business card.

Anyway, yeah, I know what the song is about. I also know about controversies about what that guy was really saying – some claim he said "Let it roll," referring to a food cart that was loose in the aisle.

Also it’s really worth noting that there’s no evidence these people took the terrorists out. It’s more likely that the terrorists crashed the plane themselves rather than lose control of it.

Finally, the thing about the song is that not only is it a bad song (not that unusual in the annals of latter day Neil Young) but that there’s something weird about a rock song that’s a call to war. Isn’t that what country music is for? It’s interesting that Young has a history of reactionary music – Ohio was written and recorded and released within days of the Kent State Massacre. Sometimes reactionary rock works, but in my opinion never when it’s pro-war.

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casExactly what is wrong with America

Rocket Robin Hood shouts (literally, it seems): YOU FUCKING BET I’M GONNA SEE THE NEW ROB SCHNEIDER MOVIE. I SEE ALL OF HIS MOVIES IN THE THEATRE! AND THEN BUY THEM ON DVD! OKAY, NOT THE ANIMAL.

P.S. YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE

Devin says: Thankfully most people didn’t agree with you this past weekend. And you see all his films? No wonder you signed with a fake name.

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csaMurderball

Sean O’Connell shouts: Nice article. Now why don’t you ask the fuck sticks at Regal Cinemas why they won’t program the film in a semi-major market like Charlotte? The film was set to open here this Friday, and Regal got cold feet for MARCH OF THE PENGUINS. The company has a 24 screen multiplex on the south end of town. Does WEDDING CRASHERS still need 3 screens?

Without proper distribution, this film will continue to fail.

Devin says: The lie of the multiplex has long been that it would allow smaller films to come to more markets. That a 24 screen theater would have four or five screens open at any given time for indies or foreign films or documentaries. But as your example shows, that just isn’t the case. There’s room for one doc, and the rest of the screens go to the #1 movie so that it can be showing every 15 minutes. Is there anything worse than going to a theater with more than 12 screens and finding three or four movies playing there?

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casMurderball 2

Campbell Law shouts: Have been reading your articles about Murderball and its disappointing showing. I know it is referred to as wheelchair rugby (I have been playing rugby since I was 8) – and I am wondering if the sport has got in contact with the IRB (the International Rugby Board) am sure if this is something they could also take on board they could get more exposure through them?

Devin says: The problem for quad rugby is less in the sporting area but more in the movie area.Check out  the quad rugby site here for more about the sport.

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csaMurderball 3

Richard shouts: I just wanted to let you know why I haven’t taken the opportunity to check out Murderball, that being I have absolutely zero interest in the story/movie about Murderball – 99% of the info I’ve read/seen came from CHUD.  You should also know that this is coming from a guy who sees 2-4 movies a month for the last 8-10 years, has a good friend playing semi-pro rugby (small league/low pay = semi-pro), and who waited to see Pulp Fiction and the Matrix until they had come out on DVD.  Yes that may have been 2 of the worst movie choices anyone could have made in the last 10 years so I’m not at all denying that I could be wrong about Murderball. For the record, I was SOO wrong about those 2 movies and own both now.

You might think I’m just not down with the independent movie – not true.  Two examples:  I saw after much (cattle) prodding Fahrenheit 9/11 in theaters AND ran out and bought, after reading the review of it courtesy of CHUD, Primer.  Admittedly Primer required a couple viewings to thoroughly understand and totally love but in both cases, CHUD sold me on the need to see these two movies ASAP.

So maybe I’m prone to make horrible decisions about movies in general but bottom line is – either you or CHUD or the producers of Murderball have just failed to sell me on this movie.  I just don’t see anything to interest me about the movie at this point – there is no hook, nothing at all exciting on a personal level about the story to me. Maybe the lack of marketing funds they might have to get the word out or acquire interviews in print and on TV or the small theater release could have something to do with it – I don’t know – but there is no buzz for me, nothing out there currently compelling enough to draw me in and make me want to see this movie.

So don’t blame us idiots – blame yourselves or the Murderball marketing people for their lack of salesman-ship on this one.  Like it or not good movie + good marketing = high viewer-ship, and I think they’ve failed to market this movie properly which is why this movie is not being seen no matter how good or bad it may be.  Yeah, I’m a genius for coming up with that formula and no, you cannot use it from here on.

As to the solution to this problem – How the hell should I know?  Buy one-get one free tickets & wheel-chairs at screenings???  Have the cast members on-site for national screenings???  Televise a "Murderball" match on FOX local TV before the release date???  But once again I’ll wait to rent the DVD.

Thanks for letting me waste some of your time.

Devin says: I don’t know what else I could have done to sell people on Murderball. Could THINKFilm have sold it better? Maybe. As Steve James, director of Hoop Dreams and the upcoming Reel Paradise, said in my interview with him here, part of the problem is that it was sold as a sports film.

But back to me. Again, I don’t know what else I could have done. It sounds to me like we’ve built a track record with you – that you take our recommendations to heart. At the end of the day it comes down to what kind of trust you have in me, and not whether I did the proper song and dance.

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csaMurderball 4

Jake shouts: Long time reader, first time emailer.

I just read your article about how Murderball is tanking right now, and it pisses me off. I’ve been looking forward to seeing it for a couple months now, and part of me can’t believe it’s not doing well just because people are freaked out by folks in wheelchairs. My brother has been a quadriplegic for the last 15 years but he’s more on the sickly side, so maybe I have a vested interest in watching a movie about badass quads, but I’d like to think I’d want to watch this flick anyway. It goes beyond the fact that people treat Dan like he’s retarded because he’s in a chair, assume he’s slow because he can only speak as quickly as the ventilator lets him, pull their kids back away from him because “wheelchair” might be catching.

But the tough part is I’m encountering resistance even in my own house – my wife says she doesn’t want to see it because it’ll be too depressing and hit too close to home. I’ve been trying to convince her otherwise, and I think I convinced her to go see it tonight even before I read your article. You can tell the people at THINKfilm they’ll be selling at least 2 more tickets this week, and I hope things start to pick up. One thing I can say is that a lot of the target market for this flick (if you assume many of them are in wheelchairs) aren’t going to see the movie because they can’t get to a theater. My brother can’t wait to check it out, but his chair’s in the shop and the movie’s not playing within a hundred miles of where he lives in VT anyway.

I’m hoping ticket sales pick up, and if the marketing’s good I think this movie will have a much stronger life on DVD, because I know I’ll be buying a copy for myself and one for him, and I hope cool and interesting documentaries on non-standard subject matter continue to be made.

Thanks for listening to my diatribe.

Devin says: Thanks for sharing your diatribe! I hope your brother eventually gets a chance to see the film, and I hope you and your wife do as well. I think she’ll be very pleasantly surprised. It’s a real bummer that the fact that the movie is about people in wheelchairs may be keeping audiences away.

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casMurderball 5

Alex shouts: In every magazine and website that has said anything about Murderball is incorrectly labeling them as quadrapeligics. They should be labeled as parapalegics, seeing as how they still have the use of their arms and hands. Quad = 4, para = 2… I don’t get it. I wonder if anyone from the movie is upset by the mistake. Just wanted to point that out and see if anyone else noticed… Thanks.
 
 
ps. Your movie reviews are always right on point. Later man.

Devin says: Alex, thanks for being nice about my reviews. Now I am going to have to make an example out of you.

I have received many letters like yours, which are from people who seem to believe that everything they have read about the movie – including the words of the quads themselves! – are wrong. Many people seem to believe that they have a better understanding of what being a quadripilegic means than an actual quad.This seems counterintuitive to me, as I would normally assume that the guy in the wheelchair might know better than me. I mean, I have only ever used a wheelchair to smoke a very tall bong and then roll around.

So let’s get a quad in here to answer this. A fellow named Scott registered on our message boards to post this, which I think will help:  "i am a quadriplegic and i can use my arms. i am a c5-c6 complete quad. i have bicep, elbows, shoulder function. i am 3 yrs post injury. i have learned that from other quads, each injury is different. quad is someone who has impairment in arms and legs

if anyone has any questions, i am on yahoo messenger alot. i have not played quad rugby, but sure looks fun.

thanks,
Scott
C5/6 Complete Quadriplegic "

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casA little bit of everything

Hank shouts: I’m the guy who wrote to you praising you for your interview with Danny Boyle for Millions(before I saw it, was looking forward to it, and really liked ), and for asking great questions of said director without kissing ass or using formulaic questions, unlike Nick with mediocre comedians. I meant all my praise from that and still do. However, I felt it necessary to comment on some of your other recent gems.
 
I LOVED your review of The Aristocrats, a movie I am looking forward to, and am seeing Monday. I had the punchline recently spoiled to me, something I was trying to avoid, and am glad I didn’t. You pointed out, the funny thing is the interpretation by the individual comics, which I already suspected. I just wish you gave us more than Bob Saget being filthy is really funny, which anyone who saw his early stuff or even Half Baked knows already. What about, who absolutely bombs? Out of 100 comics there have to be some who just blow. I know you want the maximum amount of people to see it, but please don’t tell me Carrot Top’s bit is funny. It may be possible, but highly unlikely. Are you that afraid of turning folks away? Hardly anyone, I think, is going to see it anyway.
 
I also have to vehemently disagree with your love of Hustle & Flow. I saw a screening of the finished film, and it’s a joke. Obviously all criticism is opinion, but I have to take issue with you on this one. Not that I want to placate your ego, but a lot of people DO rely on this site and see flicks based on the reviews. The movie is by the numbers, weak, and poorly shot and edited, not to mention, VERY derivative. I should mention Howard is talented and I’ve had my eye on him since Dead Presidents. It’s just a shame he’s getting attention for such an inferior product.
 
Lastly, your bit on the new Oliver Stone flick is disconcerting, to say the least. I hate to hear that the director’s cut of Alexander (a movie I and 2 others I know liked) is going that route. As far as the new Eastwood flick, I understand Paul Walker is a void, but hey, so was Travolta until Tarantino saw differently. The presence of Phillippe and Bradford do nothing to engender optimism, but PLEASE try not to drive everyone from it before they have even a chance to decide they MIGHT want to see it. I never saw   Windtalkers, so I don’t know about Adam Beach. It’s not as bad as X3, which I agree with your level of bile for. Most likely it will be a cinematic abortion. Your role at CHUD seems to be the guy who hates almost everything, which can be very funny. It just seems like you’re laying it on a little thick, sometimes.
 
 
P.S. I’m from NY. All of you guys need to use spell-check.

Devin says: Well, guilty on the last part. In my defense, I don’t usually make spelling errors, just typos. We’re trying to be better about it, but sometimes speed is more important than typing accuracy.

I disagree with you on every level about Hustle & Flow, but that’s life. I am intrigued that you found nothing redeeming in the film – even most of the vehement haters have admitted that it’s well made. As for Flags of Our Fathers –  I love WWII films, but I have to call this one as I see it as the news comes in. Also, I hold a grudge for Million Dollar Baby, a truly phony, manipulative film below Clint.

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casSpielberg’s Munich

Faisal shouts: You’re right, it is looking more at Israel’s response to the Munich attacks. I’ve heard attacks from both sides (i.e. Spielberg is too close to it because he’s Jewish… fuck off pal. Or that Spielberg doesn’t acknowledge that Vengence is a bag of shit book, yup but like the man said, its just one source of many) and am looking forward to the movie. I just hope it has a good ending, his movies keep going well up until the last ten minutes.
 
Devin says: The more bipartisan the attacks on the film, the more I feel confident it will be good. You know you’re telling the truth when everyone hates you.

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csaDevin, shut the fuck up

Alec shouts: This is getting annoying! I think it is pretty clear from your review of Batman Begins that you didn’t like it. I think the fact that you gave a lesser film like Fantastic Four a better rating than Batman Begins also proved how little you liked Batman Begins. I am sorry Batman Begins didn’t meet your fanboy wet dreams of what Batman should be. You are going to have to accept that your opinion is in the minority, no matter how much you continue to post your disdain for it. It has great critical support and some of the best box office legs of any movie released this year, unlike your beloved Fantastic Four and the majority of films your greatness has liked this year. Please quit insulting it every chance you get just to make your point.Get over it and move on!
 
Devin says: I accept that my opinion is in the minority. At this point I sort of relish it – I like the look on people’s faces when I tell them I didn’t like the movie.

I have to be honest here – I really didn’t like the film. This isn’t just a pose or a backlash. I have made my problems with the film really, really clear – I feel like I’ve written a small book about it at this point. You may or may not agree with me, but I think you have to admit my problems arise from places other than fanboyism: places like Love of Logic or Expecting the Third Act to Work.

Also, I have said it before and I will say it again – way back in the day everyone loved Burton’s Batman. Once the glamour of a "gritty" movie wears off, people will start to look at Nolan’s with the same jaundiced eye they now save for Burton.

csa

And so concludes the latest Shout at the Devil! Keep the letters coming in – I read em all and love emall. Except for you, James Stephen Garrett. You make me feel sad about people.

Email me at devin@chud.com.