Some blonde girl is going to star next to some pretty boy in the remake of Footloose. Her name is Julianne Hough and she’s blonde and if you are the kind of person who just blindly finds generic and pretty blonde women some beacon of perfection you’ll be thrilled. You’re also probably more excited about your college football team than man’s quest into the cosmos and that is why mankind has a D- in Earth.

She’s from Dancing With the Stars, that show that you should never be watching (and if you have you should rework your personal schedule) and she is probably a perfectly nice person aside from the fact she is on the worst show in town and boring. I’ve done some amazing research in the past fifteen seconds and have discovered she is also a country music singer. If she was somehow involved in 9/11 she’d have nailed the trifecta of things we don’t need.

Julianne joins High School Musical byproduct Chace Crawford in the homogenized and unchallenging remake. Why is his name spelled Chace and not Chase? Because fuck spelling.

Who wants to bet they tone down the “religious zeal is oppressive and bad” vibe of the original. Wouldn’t want to irritate the sheep who made High School Musical and Dancing with the Stars weekly home invaders!