EyeballIf you like your Jessica Alba trailers with lots of ass and abs, you’re going to have to dust off your copy of Into the Blue. After you pick it up from the Big Box $2.99 discount bin, that is.

In the mean time, shed a few salty tears of sorrow over a regularly clothed Jessica Alba with the teaser trailer for The Eye, the upcoming Tom Cruise-produced remake of 2002’s pan-Asian horror film Jian Gui (ironically, translated as The Eye). As if you needed me to explain any of that, since one look at the gray-green palette, spartan sets, rain and veiny, floaty ghosts gives its pedigree away in the first seconds (after the iconic, Lionsgate opening-its-doors-to-a-cloudy-day-in-hell logo).

I’m going to get a little crazy and state this remake is about 3 years too late, and is made all the more unintersting by a trailer that’s almost 100% uninspiring. All I have to say is this: "Jessica- don’t look out that peephole!"

Aw, shit.

Shout your own vain warnings as you view the trailer at Yahoo! Movies right about…. here.