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More Disney Classics to Enter Third Dimension

Success breeds success, as they say. Or rather, success breeds attempts to replicate success. So it shouldn’t come as any surprise that Disney is looking to build on the box office prosperity of Lion King 3D – which has already taken in an unexpected $80 million – by releasing 3D revamps of other recent classics.

The upcoming line-up is thus:

January 13, 2012 — Beauty and the Beast
September 14, 2012 — Finding Nemo
January 18, 2013 —  Monsters, Inc.
September 13, 2013 — The Little Mermaid

Where is fucking Aladdin?!?! Goddam bastards!

Anyway, as far as blatant cash-grabs go, this is one nobody should mind. I think it is great that Lion King 3D is doing so well. The 3D doesn’t add anything to the film, but the limitations the 2D animation puts on the 3D keeps it from getting annoying, so at the end of the day we’re really just getting theatrical re-releases of excellent films here (with a ticket premium bump, alas). The Pixar films feel a bit more questionable, given just how recently they were in theaters. Monsters, Inc. feels particularly bullshitty/calculated given all the better films from the Disney/Pixar vault they could’ve chosen — Monsters, Inc. clearly was selected for promotional reasons, as the prequel Monster University hits theaters June 21, 2013. That said, I’m excited about Finding Nemo 3D. That is going to look amazing.

Presumably if these 3D revamps continue to make money, Disney will dip deeper into the well and eventually do older classics like Dumbo and Peter Pan and whatnot.

Then, someday, Olive and Company and Home on the Range! Then Lady and the Tramp 2: Scamp’s Adventure! Then Song of the South 3D — you can practically touch the racial stereotypes!