My love for Mark Wahlberg is waging war with my hate for Max Payne, a video game I tried on two systems only to be disappointed by the one-dimensional gameplay and the fact the lead character always had an expression like he was smelling Poseidon’s asshole. But, I am somewhat a Wahlberg apologist still enjoying his recent [though undeserved] nomination despite The Happening‘s best efforts to tenderize my hards. Max Payne is a standard revenge/man on the run story that hinges almost entirely on a “bullet time” feature that was old when it arrived. The film seems to echo the “Punisher with a Pause Button” vibe but there’s always hope something special will come out of lackluster material. I mean that in a Scooby-Doo/Transformers sort of way. You just never know.

The first teaser posters have concussed planet Earth [hint: look up!] and the one on the bottom perfectly captures the vibe of the video game and is a nice, simple design. The one on the top makes me want to uninstall Photoshop. I mean that in a Scooby-Doo/Transformers sort of way. You just never know.

What will make this a fun violent romp rather than a Boll-less cash ‘n grab of a fading property is in the execution of the filmmaker. Walhberg isn’t the kind of actor who will shatter the screen with gravitas but rather be reliable and not ruin the party.

So they got John Moore, one of the blandest directors [Behind Enemy Lines, The Omen] working today.

Enjoy the goddamn posters.

If you want some huge pretty much for any purpose, head on over to Garth Franklin and he’ll give you the largest he can whenever he can.