casPaul WS Anderson has been losing ground in the “shitty movie based on stupid video game” sweepstakes to The Teutonic Terror, Uwe Boll, but he’s not giving up. Hot on the heels of Alien VS Predator (technically, I believe, a game film), Anderson will direct an adaptation of Castlevania.

Yes, the sidescrolling game about a guy with a whip who fights Dracula.

The film will tell the story of the origin of Dracula as well as the rise of the Belmont clan, a group known not just for their whips but also their Stakes. Now that’s levels of comedy.

Production on this nonsense will begin in mid-2006. I don’t know if this means that Anderson’s two non-video game films, The Man With the Football and a remake of Death Race 3000, are being put on hold, or if he’ll continue to develop them.

Let’s just hope that Anderson takes a page out of the Doom adaptation and includes a lengthy 2-D sidescrolling scene. He can even claim he is homaging Oldboy.

Or better yet, let’s stop making movies from fucking video games.