Paul Bartel’s original Death Race 2000 is a full-blown non-guilty pleasure. It’s a fantastically fun movie with satire that’s cheap but biting and a memorable bunch of setpieces despite a budget that makes Dungeon Seige‘s craft service pockets look deep.

Paul W.S. Anderson’s remake promises to be something significantly smaller. It already sounds terminally calculated: Frankenstein is a former prisoner forced by his warden to assume the costume and drive in America’s favorite and most violent blood sport. (Which means no reveal of his true nature.)

And it won’t feature The Real Don Steele, who even in his current state (mummified) would make a notable addition to the cast.

There is a bright spot, though. In addition to the previously announced presence of the grand cocksucker himself, Ian McShane, the stately Joan Allen has been announced as Frankenstein’s forceful warden. I can see this being tasty fun — Alllen isn’t so refined that she can’t crank up her cheesecake gague to mess with Jason Statham in a scene or two. We’ve already seen her make a man’s head explode, and this is her chance to top that.

Follow-up question: what do you think we’d have to give Joan to topline an Ilsa remake?