vsdI am not a huge fan of the Broadway production of John Waters’ Hairspray (I’m not a huge fan of the original movie either), but I do like the resurgence of the movie musical, so I had my fingers crossed for the results of the big leap back to film when the musical becomes a movie.

Not anymore.

The director of the movie has been announced and it’s… Adam Shankman, a guy whose name is an outline for how to do him in. Shankman has not yet made a good movie, and what’s worse is that he has not yet made a movie that you could believe he thought would be good. Cheaper by the Dozen? Cheaper by the Dozen TWO? Bringing Down the House? THE PACIFIER? Seriously, Shankman – fuck you. I honestly hope you Google your name and find this, and you see that I have said unto thee: Fuck you. And then I hope I have to make a movie with you in a couple of years.

The rumor about John Travolta playing Edna Turnblad, the Divine character (or the Harvey Feirstein character if you’re a Broadway person), is solidifying. But who cares at this point? I knew that Rob Marshall, the guy who did Chicago, wouldn’t direct this film as some were saying, but I was holding out hope that the original choreographer Jerry Mitchell and stage director Jack O’Brien would be in charge, as was once announced. I mean, they couldn’t be any worse at making movies than Shankman and at least they know the musical.

Fuck the duck on our message board!