kkkkIf you thought that Brett Ratner taking a swing at the franchise was about as low as the Hannibal Lector films would go, you were wrong!

There’s yet another Hannibal film in development, and in an act of seriously extraordinary whorism, it’s being based on a new book by Thomas Harris, who apparently cranks these things out at the specific request of Hollywood, or Dino DeLaurentis, whatever the case may be.

But the existence of a movie that will be called Young Hannibal (which is worse – that title or Harris’ book, which is called Behind the Mask? I have heard that Harris wrote large portions of Hannibal – including the ending, which had Clarice going off with Hannibal – as a fuck you. I wonder if Behind the Mask as a title is more of the same, or if he just watches a lot of VH1?), has long been derided here on CHUD. What we’re now talking about is the casting for the film, which starts on September 15. The film, not the casting. That’s been underway.

If it hadn’t been underway we would never have known that steadily working but barely known actor Rhys Ifans is playing the man who killed Hannibals parents (can you imagine that he has Batman’s origin?). Or that Kevin McKidd, currently playing Lucius on the new HBO series Rome (yet to be watched on my TiVo) is Hannibal’s dad. Or that A Very Long Engagement’s Gaspard Ulliel may be playing Fine Young Hannibal himself.

The worst bit of news, though, is that Sir Anthony Hopkins, needing some work done on his roof, I guess, will be supplying the narration over the film. They couldn’t even get a dude to play The Shape this many times.

Actually, they probably did, and some of you will write in to correct me. But mistakes are the only way I ever get to hear from you!

Try to be worse than the abysmal Hannibal (book or movie, take your pick!) on our message board!