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Fine-Toothed Coombs: Macaroni and Death

Mr. Coombs issues you a challenge. Can you take the heat? Or will you crank up the air conditioning that is your cowardice?

I sit in a house, housesitting. There is a tiny vial of pills to my left. It is unlabeled. My life is not yet sad enough to down them just for the sake of mystery, but who knows how many hours it would take to get me there. Regardless, we move on.

A challenge for you, dear readers. Do you have Netflix Instant? Then we’re halfway home! But it’s not necessary! You can play along all the same, depending on your desire to pay money for torture. Your task? Put on the John Leguizamo vehicle The Pest and see how long you last. My record is thirty-one minutes. That might seem minute but a knowledge of the film can turn the minute into the admirable. Perhaps even the legendary. Are you worthy of legend? Can you beat the Fine-Toothed Coombs challenge? I dare say you might not be worthy.

How do I judge the winner? I’d like to believe we can work within the honor system here, boyos, but you can understand my mistrust. At the very least provide me with a delicious description of your despair. More importantly to you, no doubt is what the winner receives! I dunno. Pick a movie, maybe I’ll talk about it next blog. Then again, maybe I’ll talk about the history of PBS’ Zoom.