Someone had a birthday yesterday. I’m not going to say who, but his name rhymes with Rondrey Rellarortre.

HOW MANY PEOPLE WATCH THE WATCHMEN?

I’m not going to lie, I’m hungover. I watched Watchmen last night. I brought a flask in with me, and I enjoyed the movie as much as I could. I drank when the Comedian drank. That worked out okay.

The problem with the Watchmen is that it’s the Broken Social Scene of comics. It’s The Replacements. It’s not Journey or Madonna, or Lionel fukin’ Richie. Do audiences care? I think they do in the sense of the vacuum. There’s nothing else out there and this is a big deal, or has been sold as such. It’s the brainy awesome thing that people tell you about as being untouched awesome.

As such I feel like a mathamagician. X = fans, Y = equals critics, and Z = advertising. (X-Y)*Z= weekend. I think it gets over 50. I’m like that. But more than anything else, there’s nothing else.

My feelings about the film are unsettled. I have no problem with this. I feel like the film is like Blade Runner. The first time I saw that film I was slightly underwhelmed. but I’ve spent twenty years watching it, and never loving it, but always returning to it. Such may be the case with Zack Snyder’s version of Watchmen. Currently I wish there was more of Dan, I wish I felt like the characters breathed, but I can’t if I feel that way because I know them too well.

Such is life, expect a second weekend drop like nobody’s business.

PREDICTION MAN, PREDICTION MAN, THE PREDICTING-est MAN YOU EVER CAN

This weekend was set up for Watchmen. How can I deny it? Some are going to give it 300 numbers, but that was more an audience film. This really is not. Word o mouth will be interesting, but I think this will be like Ang Lee’s Hulk in that it’s a disappointing success.

1, Watchmen – $55.7 Million
2. Everything Else – Dollar!

See you Sunday.