As I’m getting older, “can you get the eyebrows” is now a part of the hair-cutting process. Though if I have kids, I hope to have Scorsese eyebrows when I have grandkids.

THE GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS OF A FINANCIAL COLLAPSE

I don’t want to spent too long about this, and I know I keep talking about it, but the numbers have been bigger and badder than you’d expect for some of these first quarter films. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to connect this with the great depression, and people going then. That said, ticket prices might also be on the rise, and so there’s a number of factors, but holy moly, it’s a scary time for the entire country, and I think people are reacting to that by going to the theater.

Which means that though some are targeting Friday the 13th for something around $30, my guess is that it’s much bigger. And even though studios have been bleeding people, that the numbers are so robust is good in the sense that they are making money, but in terms of financial crisis, it also means that they will try and make safer easier films that appeal to people on very base levels.

Because what we’ve seen audiences react to has been – or what basically goes for – comfort food. 2009 looks to be a good year for film, with new films from people like Quentin Tarantino and Judd Apatow, and films like Watchmen and Observe and Report. But the films that have hit it home have been the ones that appeal on a very basic level to the audience. Simple stories, not the sort of brooding, dark films that made 2007 one of the great years of cinema, and yet most of those films were not successful. And the split between films that click and those that don’t may be even more pronounced. If money is tight, if people don’t care, they won’t fucking care at all. Which is bad news for films by the remaining mini-major stalwarts like Ang Lee, and even future academy award winner Danny Boyle (not to speak of Paul Thomas or Wes Anderson).

Supposedly our government has a plan. But things have been bad, and they’re probably going to get worse. But the movies? People always want to go to them. Sadly, Hollywood has invested in 3-D and though that may drive up some business, it’s the sort of thing that can not be replicated at home by all efforts, which does not mean it will extend theatrical play (especially if there are limited arenas for 3-D projection), but may hurt the eventual home video release. We live in strange times, indeed.

THE ONLY GIRL I’VE EVER LOVED WAS BORN WITH PREDICTIONS IN HER EYES, BUT THEY BURIED HER ALIVE

So Jason’s back, and he should be huge. Confessions of a Shopaholic will have to play to people who wish they could still buy Jimmy Choos like Isla Fisher is about to. Though Jeffery Wells thought there might be a backlash, I would wager that a sizable chunk of the female population would enjoy something that appeals to their lesser natures, just as men might enjoy watching Jason Vorhees cut up some nekkid ladies. Both are being pandered to, though internet culture (especially male-centric film sites) tend to poo-poo one and celebrate the other. Then again, arguably, the ideological concerns of a film about a unrepentant shopper have ramifications to our current fiscal collapse.

Aherm. Hey, people are seeing Watchmen this week. Hope it’s good. I heard it sucks. (just kidding). Speaking of deep throating, The International is supposed to be whore’s work. But I would guess in total, with the holiday weekend and all, this one is going to be robust. Go Coraline!

Once again my friends, you do it to me time and time again, but you got it going on, on and on and on, on and on and on. Yeah. Yeah:
1. Friday the 13th – $45.8 Million
2. Confessions of a Alcoholic – $18.5 Million
3. He’s Just Not that In To Winnie the Pooh – $17 Million
4. Taken – $14 Million
5. The Continental– $12 Million

And then on Sunday I’m going to do a live podcast whilst watching Supervixens!