Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

CONAN THE RE-IMAGINARIAN

After endless waffling on what to do with the classic muscular sword-swinger, Warner Bros. has apparently decided to reboot Conan the Barbarian, and I’m not talking about giving him snazzy new fur footwear. The studio has handed the head-lopping Crom-worshiper to Boaz Yakin (Remember the Titans), who’ll write and possibly direct a “new take” on … Continue reading

STARGATE: SPIELBERG

He’s dealt with extraterrestrials on a few occasions, but Steven Spielberg has never really ventured off-planet. Now he’s got the intergalactic itch. Spielberg is working on a movie at Paramount that will follow a group of space explorers who zoom through a wormhole and find themselves in another dimension (thereby faring better than Maximilian Schell). … Continue reading

KNOXVILLE AND FRIENDS GO NUMBER TWO

There is one film I am eagerly anticipating this year more than any other. One film that I believe will run the whole gamut of emotional responses from laughing to dry heaving: Jackass Number Two. Even the title is a wonderful feces reference. The trailer for Jackass Number Two is here, showing us some moments … Continue reading

ROSELYN SANCHEZ IS GORGEOUS

Puerto Rican combustion goddess Roselyn Sanchez is taking the position of tight end in the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s new football flick The Game Plan, which I’ve actually never heard of until now but has certainly caught the interest of my pants. Rock isn’t straying too far from his football background, following up Gridiron Gang … Continue reading

THE MOST VIOLENTEST THING EVER?

When new publisher Virgin Comics (a hilariously ironic company name, considering their target market) was first announced, it seemed like their initial focus would be material from India, with guys like author Deepak Chopra and filmmaker Shekar Kapur involved. But even though the comic industry basically now exists just for high-profile corporate crossovers and providing properties … Continue reading

TRAILER: CASINO ROYALE

I like Daniel Craig quite a bit (aces in Layer Cake, or at least superior to his Tomb Raider work) and I think he’s an intriguing choice to play suave superspy James Bond, but that’s where my excitement level for Casino Royale expires like a henchman filled with silenced PPK rounds. The past few exhaustingly … Continue reading

HAVE GAT, WILL TRAVEL

I have been working my way through the John Wayne/John Ford DVD box set this week, and I have come to the conclusion that the Western is the best film genre of all. Not only can you tell any story you want in a Western, but the conventions of the genre are so easy to … Continue reading

SWEENEY TODD, BELIEVE IT OR NOT

The long awaited film version of Sweeney Todd could be awaited not much longer – Tim Burton is delaying his next film, Ripley’s Believe it Or Not, for a year, and is looking to reteam with Johnny Depp on the tale of a murderous barber and his landlady who makes his victims into meat pies. … Continue reading