Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

AFFAIRS OF THE HART…NETT

Everyone knows that Hollywood limousine liberals have a September 10th mentality, or at least everyone that listens to AM talk radio and watches Fox News knows that. I mean, we’re talking scientific fact, people. Proof positive comes in the form of a new indie feature that takes place in those rosy pre-9/11 days when our … Continue reading

PLEASE DON’T DO EEEEEEEEEEEIT

When people first started talking about Rob Schneider and what a sensation he was on the comedy circuit, I shook my head in disbelief as…wait a minute. No one has ever talked about Rob Schnieder being any kind of sensation, save for perhaps a burning one. The guy has just never been funny. Ever. He … Continue reading

THEY ARE MARSHAL

When people first started talking about Katt Williams and what a sensation he was on the comedy circuit, I shook my head in disbelief as I’d only been exposed to his appearances as cast member on Nick Cannon’s terminally unfunny MTV “freestyle comedy show” Wild ‘N Out and his incessant commercials for pimp ringtones that … Continue reading

GO TELL THE SPARTANS

Early estimates put 300, Zack Snyder’s adaptation of Frank Miller’s comic book about nobly doomed Spartan warriors, at about 70 million dollars this weekend. That’s an astonishing number, giving 300 the third highest R-rated opening ever (behind The Matrix Reloaded and The Passion of the Christ, both long-awaited installments of popular franchises) and the single … Continue reading

PIRATES AHOY

The rumors of Disney blinking and moving Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End have proven to be, predictably, false. The Mouse House has obviously just been biding their time with promotion, not wanting to burn out a public who saw the last Pirates film 30 times each last summer and then bought 14 copies … Continue reading

THE CHUD 100 KILL LIST #2

In the wake of our ongoing ‘Essential’ list, we’re going to also rerun the popular and lost to the annals of the web CHUD’s 100 BEST KILLS list, half of which originally aired in the sadly defunct MOVIE INSIDER magazine with the rest appearing on this here site. As the site prepares for a ground-up … Continue reading

BRUCE WAYNE GETS A NEW SECRETARY

Few were surprised or upset when Katie Holmes, considered by many to be the weakest link in Christopher Nolan’s Batman revival, dropped out of the sequel a while back. And with other, juicier casting news to think about, the subject of Holmes’ replacement hasn’t been foremost in the rumor mill. Even so, Maggie Gyllenhaal has … Continue reading

WIZARD NEEDS HELP…BADLY

“From the director of Nutty Professor II and the Adam Sandler remake of The Longest Yard.” I don’t care what genre of movie we’re talking about, that ain’t a good starting point. And yet, that’s exactly where New Line Cinema decided around this time last year they wanted to kick off their movie version of … Continue reading