Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

MEDIA REPORTS (3.21.07)

1. PREMIERE – APRIL 2007 The last issue of the best mainstream movie read from these shores. I wish this mag had a chance to properly say goodbye, but perhaps it’s best that they end it on an average, nondescript issue to give a true representation of the mag for the ages. Sadly, I think … Continue reading

DOUGRAY SCOTT IS A HIT

(Correction from Jeremy: According to producer Adrian Askarieh, Dougray Scott is not playing "the baddie" in Hitman as suggested by other outlets, but something much more "complex". He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t press because I love surprises, like the time I walked in on my dad crying during a Crohn’s Disease segment on Real … Continue reading

TO DEPP AND BACK

How different would Sin City have been if Clive Owen had shoved Johnny Depp’s face into that toilet? The actor wanted the part of Jackie Boy in the first film, but his commitment to the utter piece of shit The Libertine kept him from taking the role. But Robert Rodriguez tells MTV News that America’s … Continue reading

REQUIEM FOR A WELTERWEIGHT

Remember when we told you that Darren Aronofsky’s next film would be that ballet movie? Forget it. This is Hollywood, Jake, and things change faster than Liberace between numbers. Aronofsky has taken a complete 180, going from the gentle art of dance to the brutal dance of boxing. According to my homeboy Stax at IGN, … Continue reading

THE SOUTH MIGHT RISE AGAIN

It’s been years since Americans have received a visit from their amiable Uncle Remus, that delightfully offensive racist caricature whose true loves seem to be storytelling, plantation life and sharing his joy of both with troubled white children. What a swell fella! For those of you who miss that most agreeable of souls, get ready … Continue reading

ZACK TO THE DEAD

Zack Snyder is living high right now as 300 continues to cut through audiences as only half naked oily men can do, and he’s using his newfound clout to get some projects off the ground that might otherwise never happen. Obviously he’s got Watchmen, and it looks like he’ll finally be the guy to break … Continue reading

ROCKET? THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! OH!

I wish I could start this piece out by spotlighting the early golden years of Jimmy Fallon’s career. You’d figure for a guy that inspires such disdain, there’s gotta be something good he did that made people care in the first place before he became the easiest pop culture punchline this side of Dane Cook. … Continue reading

FENCE ME IN, IF IT’S WITH VERA

Here’s the thing about writing news first thing Monday morning: I can understand most of the words I’m reading, but the eyes are always still a little bleary, and mistakes can be made. So imagine my surprise when I started reading about Miramax buying Boy In The Striped Pajamas, a tale of Auschwitz, and that … Continue reading

YOU REMEMBER CORBIN BERNSEN?

Corbin Bernsen. Man of baldness. Man of the TV guest star. Man of the bit part in way too many terrible Sci-Fi movies. Funny what happens when your LA Law star fades. Still, Corbin isn’t giving up on the business that gave up on him (which it really didn’t- the guy is more TV prolific … Continue reading

NO ONE GETS OUT OF HER ALIVE

Having watched Leon recently to re-acquaint myself before it was blessed with a spot on the CHUD Essentials list, I felt like one of the very few missed opportunities in the story was that the subplot about Leon “training” Mathilda pretty much had to be cut short in order to get her back in immediate … Continue reading