Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

HAUER GOES DUTCH

It’s been said that acting is the gateway drug. Star in a film and next thing you know you’ll be cutting tracks for your first CD, selling shampoo in Japan or, if you really get into the hard stuff, start directing other actors. Actually, I don’t know if it’s ever been said acting is the … Continue reading

TONY STARK IS FAMISHED!

Iron Man is going to probably be my favorite superhero movie ever. I’ve always had a weakness for the character, whether he be in the gray armor, the 80’s armor, the War Machine armor (silver with black interior), or in his gear from that issue where the Tall Man shrunk him down and Tony Stark … Continue reading

EXIT VALENTI

Jack Valenti, hero and villain to the American film industry, died today at the age of eighty-five, three years after releasing his viselike grip on the Motion Picture Association of America. I hope he enjoyed his brief retirement, but I’ll hazard a guess and assume he missed the day-to-day bare-knuckle brawling with Congressmen, studio chiefs, … Continue reading

HE WHO MANIPULATES METAL AND LOGIC

David Goyer’s The Invisible hits theaters Friday and I am elated. Elated I tell you. "Why are you so excited to see a film like this?", you wonder. I am not. I am just so friggin’ tired of that commercial that’s been running since a guy named Lumiere was sucking air. It’s just so high … Continue reading

DELLAMORTE DOES BOX OFFICE – 4/27/07

Here we are, all the preparations have been made, and now we’re on the cusp of summer season. Can you feel it? It’s in the air. The still of the box office air. Can you feel it? Cleveland, can you feel it?THE MOST INTERESTING FILM OF THE WEEKWell, four pictures are going wide: Next, starring … Continue reading

THE CHUD KILL LIST #89

Doing this the right way, counting back as it was back in the day. One a day. Discuss it right here. Previous deaths: 100, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 91, 90. Enjoy!* # 89 – Pumpkinhead Gulliver was no match for Rachel Creed’s sister Zelda, and the Lilliputians looked on in terror. … Continue reading

CHUD’S 50 BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS, DAY 4

Welcome to the next CHUD List. We’ve tackled our essentials list and the continued revelation of our Kills List from 2003, and now that we’ve begun the beguine, we must continue. Behold: The CHUD.com Top 50 Disappointments. A quick word on the criteria. We could very easily have spent this whole article discussing sequels and … Continue reading

LUCAS STROKES THE CHICKEN

Last year Robot Chicken threw out a spoof on Star Wars which had Palpatine receiving the news of a blowed up Death Star and, in his uncorked executive-level fury, called Darth Vader a little bitch for crying over "Panda Bear or whatever her name was". The world laughed. Yahoo reports (from what certainly feels like … Continue reading

GIANT BUGS DRAWN TOWARD THE GREENLIGHT

Project Greenlight was one of those shows you’d think would be a surefire winner. Everybody loves movies, everybody loves drama and everybody loves them some well-constructed reality. Sadly, not everyone watched A&E or Bravo and Greenlight just kind of blew away. But let it be known- there was at least one eyeball shedding a figurative … Continue reading