Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

THE CROP REPORT – 5/7/07 (THE LOVELY BONES)

The Crop: The Lovely Bones The Studio: Dreamworks The Director: Peter Jackson The Producer: Jackson, Fran Walsh, Carolynne Cunningham and Aimee Peyronnet The Writers: Jackson, Walsh and Phlippa Boyens The Actors: No clue! The Premise: Fourteen-year-old Susie Salmon surveys from heaven the aftermath of her brutal rape-and-murder as it affects her family and her murderer. … Continue reading

A DAPPER VISION OF A STARK HERO

Clothes really make the man. The half of our species with external reproductive organs gets a little flush when we see new images of men in metal suits. Meanwhile for some of the people born with a pair of ovaries (instead of this little ovarian nub the drunks down at the research institute are still … Continue reading

DWAYNE WAYNE HAS FINALLY MADE IT

Patrick Dempsey’s in! Michelle Monaghan is in! Mr. Bean is not in, but Paul Weiland, a guy who directed him a few times, is… to direct no less. And now, despite the fact Made of Honor has been filming for a week now, the ball can finally get rolling with the addition of three more … Continue reading

MEDIA REPORTS (4.7.07)

1. GUITAR WORLD – JUNE 2007 You’ll see this baby show up more as their coverage isn’t just nerdy articles on how to do wank-off licks faster than ever, but rather broader coverage of guitar-oriented artists in blues, jazz, and rock (My apologies, country fans….for you being country fans, that is). This issue’s strong points: Fantastic … Continue reading

THE REVENGE OF GORDON GEKKO

Oliver Stone’s Wall Street is probably most famous for a line that has wormed its way into the American consciousness: ‘Greed is good.’ The interesting thing about the line is that while it’s attributed to Michael Douglas’ character, Gordon Gekko, he never says it in the movie. Seriously. Go back and watch the film – … Continue reading

INTERNET KILLED THE ATTENTION SPAN

Twisted Pictures, the company behind the relentlessly terrible Saw movies, is betting that everything old is new again. They’re among the people taking old, discarded film narrative forms and trying them out again on the Internet. Their first effort is a feature length film that will debut only online, to be called The Internet Killer … Continue reading

I GOT YA HOT ROD RIGHT HERE

I’m not sure why there are teaser trailers for not-exactly-heavily-anticipated comedies starring relative unknowns. I mean, for a film like that – since you can’t sell it on the cast or the name brand – I would think you’d want the public’s first look at your film to be a full-sized affair loaded with jokes … Continue reading