Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

PAGING MARK A.Z. DIPPÉ

Quoth Todd McFarlane, "I can make a spooky, suspenseful thriller that will scare the crap out of you." If it has to do with plunking down hundreds of thousands of dollars to purchase Mark McGwire’s and Sammy Sosa’s now valueless home run balls, I’ll bet you can, sir. But if it’s a self-financed Spawn 2 … Continue reading

JODIE FOSTER HAS A DEATH WISH

Jodie Foster has made a pretty good career of being the quintessential everywoman -that-you-reeeeaallly-don’t -wanna-fuck-with, and despite many other notable actresses dipping their toes in the waters, she’s still probably the queen of that sort of role, both in terms of credibility and bankability. If you so much as harm a hair on the head … Continue reading

WHO’S GOT A RIGHT TO SEE HOSTEL?

June 8th is only a week away, but for Lionsgate and Eli Roth, it must feel like an eternity. That a bootleg of Hostel: Part II has leaked to the internet isn’t unprecedented; every year, a few studios suffer the headache of an advance copy of a major release making the rounds weeks in advance. … Continue reading

J-HORROR POWERS UNITE!

When Hideo Nakata followed up Gore Verbinski’s superior version of Ringu (The Ring) with the atrocious The Ring 2, I figured his run in Hollywood was over. But mediocre directors don’t get run out of this town; they just seek refuge at Fox! Ergo, Nakata will take his slow-building dread act to the Pico lot, … Continue reading

LINDSAY LOHAN ENABLED

Being a Hollywood resident, I’m relieved to have survived last Memorial Day weekend, what with Lindsay Lohan terrorizing the streets and the clubs and the women’s bathroom stalls of my fair town. Thankfully, the bender that launched a thousand gossip blog posts has landed the once promising movie star in rehab; unfortunately, the role she … Continue reading

THE PROGNOSTICATOR: JUNE 2007

I’m pretty proud of myself — I made it through May without seeing Shrek. Even with it being the only movie I haven’t yet seen at my favorite local theater, I’ve resisted the occasional urge to see it just so that I can go to the theater and not see 28 Weeks Later or Pirates … Continue reading

HARRY POTTER AND THE ADVANCED RELEASE

Since every summer juggernaut film these days – especially sequels – is swinging for the fences in terms of weekend and revenue records (“OMG! Evan Almighty is on track to have the biggest St. Baptiste Day weekend opening ever!!!!1111!!”), we’re increasingly seeing films moving the traditional Friday release date up to squeeze every last dollar … Continue reading

HERCULES! HERCULES! HERCULES!

There’s something so appealing about the stale, outdated (They list The Black Dahlia as an upcoming movie of theirs) and old-fashioned feel of Millennium Films’ website. You jump over there and you get pixilated posters, sleep-inducing, low-res design, plus poster after poster of giant heads and uninspiring film titles (Seriously, go to their “Library” link … Continue reading