Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: CARVED

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE STUDIO: TartanMSRP: $19.95RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 90 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Trailer• TV Spots • Behind the Scenes• Cast InterviewsNote: All screencaps have been crafted to best approximate the experience of viewing the film. Accordingly, there are no entertaining captions. The Pitch A chick with a gash for a mouth (slang) isn’t … Continue reading

DELLAMORTE DOES BOX OFFICE – 10/19/07

I receive a little reader mail (I’d guestimate 80% is positive, and 15% are corrective notes like “Hey, you were wrong about Lolita’s gross you nattering nabob!”* And then I check my bank accounts, see that my investments in India have paid off, and cry myself to sleep on piles of money.). But I did … Continue reading

DERN: THE MOVIE

Admit it. Once or twice in your life, you’ve asked yourself, "If it came down to it, if I had no other choice, if the fate of the world hung in the balance… how much Dern could I take?" Well, my friend, you’re about to find out. Bruce Dern, Laura Dern and Diane Ladd (who’s … Continue reading

DAVID BENIOFF IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY!

I have been known to give David Benioff a hard time whenever there’s an announcement that he’s working on a script. See, I think Benioff’s debut novel, The 25th Hour, is one of the great modern New York City novels. And I think his short story collection, When the Nines Roll Over (And Other Stories), … Continue reading

STAR TREK XI TO GET SHAT ON?

Ever since Leonard Nimoy was confirmed to appear in Star Trek XI as Old Spock, people have been wondering, ‘What about The Shat?’ Some rumors have had Shatner mad that he hasn’t been asked back, while others say that the filmmakers are trying  to figure out a way to squeeze him into the film, and … Continue reading

TIME FOR MORE COP

Timecop has acquired a reputation as the pinnacle of Peter Hyams’s oeuvre, which is a little like saying Bobby Hebert was the best quarterback in the history of the USFL. I’m not sure that analogy holds, but, in any event, both claims are spectacularly wrong: Jim Kelly was the best QB to lace ’em up … Continue reading

STOPPING AND STARTING POWER

I hope the DVD for Jan deBont’s Stopping Power is honest. I want to see a documentary about the film’s bizarrely troubled attempts to get off the ground; the movie was all set to go months ago and then financing fell through, then more money came in and they began shooting, and then that money … Continue reading