Movie News

We could simply cut and paste stories from Variety, but we don’t. We’re too amazing for that. We RETYPE articles from Variety…

HOPKINS CHINS UP AS HITCH

Alfred Hitchcock was a big ‘ol sumbitch, so he’s got personality enough for more than one film about him. Right? Especially when the first is Number 13 featuring Dan Fogler, who burned his sack and possibly his career but not the ticket counter when his Balls of Fury dropped. At least he’s no longer a … Continue reading

RAMBO’S NOSTALGIA BUZZKILL

It’s hard to get excited over the official theatrical trailer for Rambo what with that excessively gory teaser from last May still fresh in ol’ noggin. Factor in a smattering of lame dialogue and a complete lack of Jerry Goldsmith-ian cues, and I’m not sure I care about this movie anymore. Compare the above (which … Continue reading

PADDY STALKS STILES

High-profile remake news always gets punters wondering why ‘they never remake bad movies’. But the remake of a bad or middling movie just isn’t worth the column inches, which is why Cry Of The Owl, featuring Paddy Considine as a guy who separates from his wife, moves to the suburbs and begins syping on Julia … Continue reading

IMHOTAP THAT ASS!

Ah, it’s nice to see Jet Li is enjoying his retirement from martial arts films. Technically, I guess The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is more of a "Rob Cohen product" than a "martial arts film"; it’s surely less physically taxing than, say, Fist of Legend, Hero or Fearless. It’s just dispiriting to watch … Continue reading

I AM THEATRICAL

There will be a clearer, sharper theatrical trailer for I Am Legend posted shortly (and we’ll link that here, too), but for those of you who can’t wait to see the vampires/cannibals/bitey things in action… would you settle for a dog running on a treadmill??? We do get a few glimpses of the bloodsucking beasties … Continue reading

SHE’S A FOX, BUT IS SHE A LEADING LADY?

Dear morons who watched all three seasons of Hope and Faith: you’re suddenly, if briefly, useful. Megan Fox, the tattooed temptress of Michael Bay’s Transformers, has just been cast as the lead in Diablo Cody’s follow-up to Juno, Jennifer’s Body, and, given the limited range of emotions – i.e. "fear" and "fuck me" – displayed … Continue reading

LEHANE IS LE THANG FOR MARTY AND LEO

There was never any question that Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio would re-team for a fourth collaboration; what’s surprising, though, is that it’s not called The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt or The Wolf of Wall Street. And while no one was expecting the duo to come together for an adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s Shutter Island, … Continue reading

DARTH MAUL TAKES ON DARTH VADER

Just when you think you never want to see another Star Wars parody as long as you live (no, I’m not talking about the Prequels. ZING!), along comes Peter Serafinowicz with his saga of Darth Vader in Love. You may remember Serafinowicz as Pete in Shaun of the Dead, or as Duane in Spaced. But … Continue reading

CAPTAIN CASSAVETES

This email came over the transom today:The itv show, This Morning, had a couple of days back. My wife tells me that Gena Rowlands was on, and mentioned that her son was ORIGINALLY going to direct an IRON-MAN movie… he’s now instead thinking of doing CAPTAIN AMERICA. Not quite sure who her son is… or … Continue reading