Movie Reviews

We’re a hotheaded group of individuals. We crave a pull quote like anyone else, but it’s not about that. It’s only about you the reader. We love you. We want to take you home and cuddle with you. The following reviews are the opinions of the editors of CHUD.com and are by most accounts bang on.

REVIEW: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3

“What’s in Rabbit Foot?” someone asks in Mission: Impossible: 3. The answer, my friends, is pure, concentrated MacGuffin. Like any good MacGuffin, Rabbit Foot is the thing that drives the mechanics of this film – in MI3’s case it’s a device (biohazardous, it seems) that evil arms merchant Philip Seymour Hoffman wants, and he’ll kill … Continue reading

REVIEW: UNITED 93

Sitting down before United 93, I expected a difficult experience. I was prepared for a film that would play to my assumptions about the hijacking and its perpetrators. I worried that it would be crass. And the film is sometimes extremely difficult to watch; it would probably be worthless otherwise. But crass and obvious it’s … Continue reading

REVIEW: AMERICAN DREAMZ

What if they threw a satire and no jokes came? This is the question American Dreamz answers in its interminable running time. Completely castrated and devoid of comedy, American Dreamz is what it looks like when a filmmaker runs out of nerve just before filming begins. The movie barely even attempts to extend its comedy … Continue reading

REVIEW: SILENT HILL

Many years ago some friends and I shared rent on a dingy practice space with one of those goth/metal bands that now litter MySpace. You know the ones: homemade backdrop with thorny roses, economy size mascara. They left their lyric book on an amp one day and we had a ball reading it. I don’t … Continue reading

REVIEW: HARD CANDY

I think Hard Candy is a film perhaps best seen cold – without any knowledge of the storyline whatsoever. If you don’t know anything about the film, stop reading after this paragraph – the rest of this positive review contains the sort of minor spoilers that tell you what a movie is about and that … Continue reading

REVIEW: NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE, THE

The Notorious Bettie Page isn’t a bad film, I just don’t understand why it exists. It’s a biopic that focuses on a time of the subject’s life mostly devoid of interesting conflict and it’s an examination of sexual subgroup that seems to have no actual interest in that subgroup. Perhaps most strange of all is … Continue reading

REVIEW: KINKY BOOTS

Oh, transvestites! You teach us so much in the movies. You all have heavy emotional baggage, but you maintain such a carefree and fabulous façade that you get over it. This is what you teach us – to loosen up, and maybe enjoy a little Abba or something. Movies have taught me that any man … Continue reading