Movie Reviews

We’re a hotheaded group of individuals. We crave a pull quote like anyone else, but it’s not about that. It’s only about you the reader. We love you. We want to take you home and cuddle with you. The following reviews are the opinions of the editors of CHUD.com and are by most accounts bang on.

FESTIVAL REVIEW: TAXIDERMIA

Hungary/Austria/FranceGyörgy Pálfi A few months back, I caught the trailer for Taxidermia and immediately had to see the film. A triptych of tales, the thin script follows a family born into poverty. The original patriarch is an orderly at a wartime orphanage; while lusting after the two deliciously teenage girls stationed within, he explores his … Continue reading

FESTIVAL REVIEW: EXILED

Hong Kong / ChinaJonnie To I probably say this every year, but I’d pretty much written off Hong Kong cinema a few years back. Then I saw Breaking News, Johnnie To’s ambitious flick about the interplay between criminals and the media. The movie didn’t deliver, exactly, but it got close, with enough going on to … Continue reading

FESTIVAL REVIEW: BRAND UPON THE BRAIN!

USA/CanadaGuy Maddin On my first trip to the Toronto Film Festival, I was thrilled to sit in the Elgin Theatre for the premiere of Guy Maddin’s The Saddest Music In The World. He’s entered a handful of short films into the fest in the years since, but no other features have been forthcoming. Brand Upon … Continue reading

REVIEW: MAN PUSH CART

What’s your tolerance for misery? Man Push Cart aims to explore how much misery you can take – this little independent film is almost oppressive in how sad it is, and it often comes very close at times to becoming a complete bummer or a maudlin pile of crap. It never quite does, a testament … Continue reading

FESTIVAL REVIEW: 2:37

AustraliaMurali K Thralluri While I was in Toronto a Montreal student opened fire in his university, proof that the pressures which created Columbine are everywhere. For much of 2:37, which follows troubled, seemingly normal high school kids for a day, it’s easy to infer that Columbine has come to Australia, too. The lives of these … Continue reading

REVIEW: PROTECTOR, THE

I did not see Tony Jaa’s film Tom Yum Goong in its original form, but there was no way to miss the bleeding gashes inflicted on the movie by the Weinstein Company as they turned it into The Protector. The film is often completely incoherent, with characters dropping in and out of the story at … Continue reading

REVIEW: HOLLYWOODLAND

It turns out that this year’s most interesting Superman movie has the Man of Steel’s brains painting the walls of his Los Angeles bedroom. Hollywoodland, once known by the far superior title Truth, Justice and the American Way before Warner Bros shit their red underoos, tells the story of the rise and death of 1950s … Continue reading

REVIEW: WICKER MAN, THE

This review contains major spoilers, especially if you have not seen the original film. I never believed that Neil LaBute was a misogynist. His venom seemed equally spread out across all genders – the evil assholes in his films were just as likely to be men as women. Even the film that earned him the … Continue reading

REVIEW: LASSIE

What the fuck was Peter Dinklage thinking? I like the actor – people have accused me of just liking him because he’s a dwarf, but the truth is that he’s an interesting actor with great presence. If he was of normal height he’d be huge – no pun intended. I think the guy could have … Continue reading

REVIEW: CRANK

Crank is the movie they warned us the video game generation would make. It’s also the best action film released this summer, maybe even this year. It’s a hyperactive thrill ride that understands itself, its audience and its genre enough to not take anything too seriously. And it confirms Jason Statham as one of the … Continue reading