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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: SECUESTRO EXPRESS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: MiramaxMSRP: $29.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 87 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Deleted Scenes• Secuestro Express: The Film & The Facts• Making of…• Music Video• English & Spanish Commentaries• Trailer The Pitch MTV says it’s "City of God meets Goodfellas." I’ve never seen City of God, but they pretty much besmirched the glorious name … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: DALLAS – SEASON 4

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $39.98RATING: NRRUNNING TIME: 1125 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Dallas Reunion: The Return To Southfork Special The Pitch “Waspy oil millionaires shoot, slap and fight each other for your personal enjoyment.”The Humans Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal, Larry Hagman, Barbara Bel Geddes and Linda Gray.The Nutshell At the conclusion of … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SUGAR

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Pathfinder EntertainmentMSRP: $19.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 82 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Still Gallery The Pitch Honestly – I don’t get this movie 100%, so I can’t imagine what the pitch for it would have been. But I’m sure it involved a water bong at some point. All those years of being called … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BAMBI II

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE! STUDIO: DisneyMSRP: $29.99 – Remember, it’s an investment in your children’s future.RATED: GRUNNING TIME: 73 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• “The Legacy Continues” Making-Of• Bambi’s Trivia Tracks• Thumper’s Hurry & Scurry Game• Disney Sketch Pad – How to Draw Thumper• Sneak Peeks The Pitch “Bambi grew up in the first one? I … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SCOOBY-DOO IN WHERE’S MY MUMMY

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $24.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 75 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• National Geographic’s Scooby-Doo: Curse of the Lost Lunch• Scooby-Doo Rap Music Video• Deleted Scenes• Voice Actor Featurette• Escape From the Ankh Chamber Game The Pitch "Okay guys, where have Scooby & the Gang NOT been yet?" "OZ!" "HELL!" "EGYPT!" "Ummm..okay so … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 2.07.06

I played football once – or as my International friends call it, Foosball Americano – and I quickly got my 2% backsides handed to me in a righteous fashion. It would have felt victorious if I could have rushed the offending side, or even took the big guys for a three-point conversion, but unfortunately I’m … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: DARK HOURS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: FreestyleMSRP: $24.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 80 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Director commentary• Alternate ending The Pitch “It’s Straw Dogs meets Misery, sprinkled with Cronenberg flavoring!” The Humans Kate Greenhouse, Aidan Devine, other Canadians The Nutshell Sam Goodman (Greenhouse) is a psychiatrist for the criminally insane. She’s also afflicted with an inoperable brain … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: LOSERS, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Dark Sky FilmsMSRP: $19.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 95 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Audio commentary with William Smith and Paul Koslo• Photo gallery• Radio spots• Theatrical trailers The Pitch “‘70s biker movie meets ‘70s war movie with some crazy Road Warrior-esque vehicles thrown in.” The Humans William Smith, Bernie Hamilton, Adam Roarke, … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: RYAN’S DAUGHTER (SE)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Metro-Goldwyn-MayerMSRP: $26.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 3 hours 26 mins.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Audio commentary with Lady Sandra Lean, Actress Sarah Miles, Petrine Day Mitchum (Robert Mitchum’s daughter), Assistant Director Michael Stevenson, Second Unit Director Roy Stevens, Art Director Roy Walker, Assistant Editor Tony Lawson, Location Manager Eddie Fowlie, Stuntman Vic Armstrong, Lean … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL WARNER 2006 EDITION

Before I get a flurry of e-mails from 3 friends and my Mother, I’d just like to point out that sadly, I was not present during Warner Brother’s unleashing of its 2006 DVD titles. Hopefully things like this will change over the course of the coming months, because, let’s face it – I am stupendous … Continue reading