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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: NEW KIDS, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: SonyMSRP: $14.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 89 min.SPECIAL FEATURES: Roundness The Pitch “It’s The Class of 1984 meets Tuff Turf!” The Humans Shannon Presby (Diff’rent Strokes), Lori Laughlin (Amityville 3-D, Full House), Eddie Jones (Invasion USA, C.H.U.D.), Eric Stoltz (Killing Zoe, The Fly II), James Spader (Alien Hunter, Mannequin) The Nutshell … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: RUMBLE FISH (SE)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: UniversalMSRP: $19.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 95 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Deleted Scenes• Director Commentary• On Location in Tulsa• The Percussion-Based Score• “Don’t Box Me In” Music Video• Theatrical TrailerWith the completion of The Outsiders (DVD review HERE), Francis Ford Coppola had a good thing going. Adaptation of a second S.E. Hinton book … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MAN WITH NINE LIVES, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Columbia Tristar Home VideoMSRP: $14.94RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 73 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Trailers The Pitch “We’ve got Boris Karloff and a mad scientist premise. A plot where something actually happens is totally unnecessary!” The Humans Boris Karloff, Roger Pryor, Jo Ann Sayers and John Dilson. The Nutshell Dr. Tim Morgan is … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: WORK OF DIRECTOR MARK ROMANEK, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: PalmMSRP: $24.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: N/ASPECIAL FEATURES:• Multiple Commentaries for each video• Three Documentaries A music video is essentially an extension of a song. It’s supposed to give the viewer an extra insight into what a certain song represents, or shed some light on intended symbolism that isn’t necessarily apparent … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: TORTURE GARDEN

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Columbia Tristar Home VideoMSRP: $14.94RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 100 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Trailers The Pitch “Let’s make an anthology horror film, but have the twist in each story be so insane that the film turns into a comedy!” The Humans Jack Palance, Burgess Meredith, Beverly Adams and Peter Cushing The Nutshell … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MORTUARY ACADEMY

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Columbia Tristar Home VideoMSRP: $14.94RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 88 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: Trailers The Pitch "It’s Police Academy in a mortuary! No? Okay, it’s actually necrophiliac porn in a mortuary." The Humans Paul Bartel (Gremlins 2, The Usual Suspects) as the film’s resident corpse-dating mortuary owner, Mary Woronov (Dick Tracy, The … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: DisneyMSRP: $29.99RATED: PGRUNNING TIME: 109 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Commentary tracks• Making of featurette• Deleted scenes I haven’t read Douglas Adams’ novel The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (or its follow-ups) since high school, which I’m sad and mildly horrified to say was nearly half my lifetime ago, so I don’t … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 10.02.05

The house was on the hill. I was invited there under the guise of a certain anthropologist and his crew, which consisted of an ESP expert and an heir to the Estate. The first night was rather uneventful, but as they wore on, something was off. Noise came from every corner. Voices emerged out of … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SHARKBOY & LAVAGIRL IN 3-D

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: DimensionMSRP: $29.99RATED: PGRUNNING TIME: 93 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Creating “Sharkboy and Lavagirl” with Racer Max• Feature Commentary with Director Robert Rodriguez• 4 pairs of 3-D glasses The Pitch “It’s The NeverEnding Story on Texas loco weed!“ The Humans Taylor Lautner, Taylor Dooley, Cayden Boyd, David Arquette (8 Legged Freaks), Kristin … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: WORK OF DIRECTOR STÉPHANE SEDNAOUI, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: PalmMSRP: $24.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: N/ASPECIAL FEATURES:• Four short films• Two interview featurettes• 56-page art booklet This volume of the Palm Directors Label series, featuring Stéphane Sednaoui, is pretty skimpy on the biographical details. There’s a reason the title is prefaced by The Work Of… Rather than focus on the … Continue reading