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The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, A

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: New LineMSRP: $28.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 96 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Commentary• Featurettes• Deleted scene The Pitch “Middle-American Aragorn is of two minds!” The Humans Viggo Mortensen, Ed Harris, Maria Bello, Ashton Holmes, William Hurt, several eventual corpses The Nutshell Tom Stall (the Vig) owns and operates a diner in a tiny … Continue reading

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: MEMENTO MORI

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Tartan VideoMSRP: $24.99RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 98 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Making-of Featurette• Photo Gallery• Music Video• Trailers The Pitch "It’s Brokeback Girl’s School and we’ll coerce the writers/directors into throwing in a ghost and make it a sequel to the already popular Whispering Corridors. Plus: young girls in school uniforms making … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: CHOKE, THE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Velocity Home EntertainmentMSRP: $24.98RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 92 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Behind-the-scene featurette• Feature commentary w/ director and crew• Trailer gallery The Pitch "It’s a hip Ten Little Indians, but we ditched all that subtext shit." The Humans A bunch of lovable Spokanites (presumably) who haven’t appeared in anything else. Here … Continue reading

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: SNAKE OF JUNE, A

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Tartan VideoMSRP: $24.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 77 minutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Behind the Scenes Interviews• Original Theatrical Trailer• Photo Gallery• Tartan Asia Extreme Trailers The Pitch “We’ll make a heartwarming story about a concerned telephone counselor who saves a man’s life. In return he stalks her, takes pictures of her and … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: DisneyMSRP: $29.99RATED: GRUNNING TIME: 86 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• "Behind the Microphone" featurette• Opening/closing animation w/o credits• TV spots and trailers• Feature-length storyboard sequence The Pitch "Let’s flip a coin. Heads I make a film that scares the pants off of children. Tails I make a film that charms the pants … Continue reading

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: WHISPERING CORRIDORS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Tartan VideoMSRP: $24.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 105 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Trailers• Photo GalleryThe Pitch"It’s The Usual Suspects set in a Korean all-girls school only instead of the audience trying to figure out who is Keyser Soze, they’re trying to figure out who’s the ghost. Plus: young girls in school uniforms." … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 3.21.06

A solitary voice woke me up the other night. Its beckoning unmistakable. Once I looked down under my bed, I had my answer – Maurice was back. It had been some time, but we were both ready to accept life’s challenges. And there were many after scaring the crap out of everyone years prior. If … Continue reading

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: PHONE

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Tartan VideoMSRP: $24.99RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 100 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Audio commentary on selected scenes• Behind the scenes featurette• Deleted scenes• Epilogue featurette• Interviews with the cast and crew• Making of featurette• Tartan Asia Extreme trailers• TV spots and trailers The Pitch “Ringu made a lot of money and scared people. … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: BASIC INSTINCT (UE)

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Live / ArtisanMSRP: $19.98RATED: UnratedRUNNING TIME: 127 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: • Commentary by director Paul Verhoeven and director of photography Jan de Bont• New DVD Introduction by Sharon Stone• New Conversation with Sharon Stone• "Blonde Poison: The Making of Basic Instinct" documentary• "Cleaning up Basic Instinct" featurette• Screen Tests• … Continue reading