Home Video

The motion picture studios send us vermillions of DVD releases for the purpose of review. More titles than you can shake a stick at, unless you have a lot of time and a particularly sturdy stick. Unlike most sites [and weirdly a source of nitpicking from some detractors who we’ve discovered are dumb and lonely asexual prick assholes], we review everything we’re sent. Even the gay vampire program Lair (from the makers of Dante’s Cove). We have a wide array of reviewers, all with functioning nervous systems and all ready to entertain YOU with their puns and prose. You. Are. Welcome.

DVD REVIEW: UNFINISHED LIFE, AN

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: MiramaxMSRP: $29.99RATED: PG-13RUNNING TIME: 108 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Feature Commentary by the Director, Producer and Editor• Making-Of• Training Bart the Bear• Still Gallery The Pitch “It’s The Horse Whisperer meets Legends of the Fall. Hey. Wake up!” The Humans Robert Redford (Indecent Proposal), Jennifer Lopez (Monster-In-Law), Morgan Freeman (Along Came … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: WHEN STAND UP STOOD OUT

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: ThinkFilmMSRP: $29.99 RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 87 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• Flashback w/ Dane Cook• Concert sequences from featured comics• Making-of featurette• "Meany on the Street" archival footage The Pitch "A world of comics linked by a single town, kinda like The Aristocrats, but with Boston instead of fecal leavings." The Humans … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: MAGIC JOHNSON – ALWAYS SHOWTIME

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $19.98 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 418 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES:• 1980 NBA Finals Game 6 – Los Angeles Lakers vs. Philadelphia 76ers• Magic’s number retirement ceremony The Pitch Ole’ Magic was a pretty good ballplayer. Here’s proof. The Humans Magic, Kareem, Big Game James, A.C., Cooper, Byron, Sir Charles, … Continue reading

THE SPECIAL EDITION – 6.20.06

Eyes when young, register fast. Later you develop the film. Or so said someone famous. I forget. But the little things add up, leaving imprints. Like the time I stole those Citizen Kane lobby cards, or even when I schemed to pilfer that typewriter; finagling everything left and right. Nothing a good, long walk on … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: CANDY STRIPERS

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: SonyMSRP: $24.96RATED: RRUNNING TIME: 89 min.SPECIAL FEATURES: Trailers The Pitch Gotta go with the official tagline here: “They’re running out of patients.” The Humans Brian Lloyd, Tori White, Deanna Brooks (Playmate, May 1998), Nicole Rayburn, Serria Tawan (Playmate, November 2002) The Nutshell Alien parasites take over a hospital, turning … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: ALF – SEASON 3

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Lions GateMSRP: $39.98 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 600 MinutesSPECIAL FEATURES: • Animated Menus• Episode Intros By ALF The Pitch It’s (insert lame ‘80s family sitcom) with a Muppet or it’s Unhappily Ever After minus Nikki Cox’s golden globes. The Humans Max Wright, Anne Schedeen, Andrea Elson, Benji Gregory. "So Lynn, … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: HOME IMPROVEMENT – SEASON 4

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Touchstone/DisneyMSRP: $39.99 RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 598 Minutes SPECIAL FEATURES: Blooper Reel The Pitch Season 4 of Tim Allen breaking more shit than he fixes. The Humans Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Taran Noah Smith, Zachary Ty Bryan, Earl Hindman, Richard Karn, Debbe Dunning. "Tim and I use … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: SEARCHERS, THE – ULTIMATE COLLECTORS EDITION

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Home VideoMSRP: $31.99RATED: Not RatedRUNNING TIME: 119 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Available Subtitles: English, Spanish, French• Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo), French (Dolby Digital 1.0)• Disc One:• Newly remastered and restored from original VistaVision film elements• Introduction by Patrick Wayne• Commentary by Peter Bogdanovich• Theatrical Trailer• Disc … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS

BUY IT FROM AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Warner Bros.MSRP: $27.99RATING: RRUNNING TIME: 108 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:– Featurette– Music video THE PITCH “It’s West Side Story meets Fight Club, with soccer!” THE HUMANS Elijah Wood, Charlie Hunnam, Claire Forlani, Marc Warren, the British punched THE NUTSHELL Matt Buckner (Wood) gets booted out of Harvard after taking a drug … Continue reading

DVD REVIEW: ROOM 6

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!STUDIO: Anchor BayMSRP: $19.98RATED: NRRUNNING TIME: 94 min.SPECIAL FEATURES:• Featurette: Hospital From Hell• Commentary with Writer/Director Mike Hurst and Writer/Producer Mark A. Altman• Theatrical Trailer• Screenplay (DVD-ROM) The Pitch “This story doesn’t make any sense. Put some sexy nurses in it.” The Humans Christine Taylor (The Wedding Singer), Shane Brolly … Continue reading