Looking back on the entirety of my brief CHUD tenure, there’s no review I took greater pleasure in writing than The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1. The movie was so absolutely bugfuck, so completely away from any frame of reference my years of film analysis could draw upon. I watched a passionate wolf boy fall in love with a CG baby moments after its vampire father tore her from her mother’s womb with his fangs. That shit happened. To my face.

So naturally I’m looking forward to Bill Condon’s follow-up. I’ve embedded the trailer below for your viewing pleasure. It doesn’t tell us very much aside from watching Taylor Lautner act resides somewhere between “paint drying” and “old man eating a macaroon.” Also, OMG BELLA HAS RED EYES NOW!!!

I don’t care about the books, I don’t care where this franchise is going, I don’t give two shits where it’s been. I just want to see if Condon and author Stephenie Meyer can top a film where a pregnant lady gets her back broken by her gesticulating fetus.

Source:  Summit Entertainment via Coming Soon