Why settle for a thankless sidekick role in Transformers 2 when you can develop a big screen redo of 21 Jump Street? Better to sit around and ponder a world where Peter DeLuise is a superstar than to scream at and run from tennis balls on sticks all day.

Though Hill’s been drafted by Neal Moritz and the paper-flinging Stephen J. Cannell to write the screenplay for this sure-to-be-campy reimagining of the show that launched Depp and submarined Grieco (he should’ve been a giant), it’s undecided as to whether he’ll actually appear in the movie. Better hurry up while you can still pass for a high-schooler, Jonah. Or maybe the joke can be that the entire team is too grizzled to assimilate into the pre-collegiate milieu. It’s a limiting gag, but it’s a good one if you cast Nick Nolte.

I’m sure Dustin Nguyen is already conspiring to “bump into” Hill at some hipster hangout in Silverlake; I just hope Frederic Forrest isn’t planning to do likewise (poor guy took the failure of One from the Heart harder than Coppola). Moritz has 21 Jump Street set up at Sony (amazing they’ll still do business with the guy after Stealth), and he’s not sayin’ whether they’ll go for an outright comedy or a joke-free nightmare like Todd Phillips’s Starsky and Hutch. I say you bring in Gary Sherman and play Ramrod rough. That way, you can cast Craig Robinson as a sugar pimp!

(Thanks to reader “Jan” for submitting!)