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STUDIO: Lions Gate
MSRP: $14.98
RATED: R
RUNNING TIME: 91 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:

The Pitch

“What do you mean the picture doesn’t have any laughs?  We included a laugh track on the goddamn disc!”

The Humans

Director: Jerry Daigle
Writer: Alan Donnes and Tanner Colby
Actors: Christopher Meloni, Robert Klein, Mario Cantone, Cyndi Lauper, Adam Ferrara, Larry Holmes

The Nutshell

Remember those absolutely perverted jokes your drunk uncle would tell you at every holiday party.  Yeah, this is a film adaptation of that.

The Lowdown

 

 

Seeing as this went DTV, this just comes across as a veiled threat by a raving luddite.

National Lampoon originated as groundbreaking humor magazine.  It’s radio programs proved to be the jumping off point for massive talent such as John Belushi, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis. Their name was attached pieces of great like Animal House and Vacation.  Then it became the receiving end of a hostile takeover, lead by none other than Tim Matheson. Otter, how could you!  The brand has been in a nose-dive ever since.  With Dirty Movie they may have finally crashed and burned.

The title Dirty Movie is a deceptive title, but not because it isn’t dirty.  It’s embarrassingly filthy. Rather it isn’t a movie.  It would technically fall into the “sketch comedy film” genre, but only in the fact that it takes some inspiration from Kentucky Fried Movie and Amazon Women on the Moon.  These early John Landis works were comprised mostly of sketches, with some longer segments providing some sort of  temporary narrative.  While dated, both feature a good amount of well conceived and executed comedic ideas. There’s a sense of thematic consistency and the ideology of trying anything for a laugh, even if there are some real misses.  Dirty Movie can’t get any of that that right.
The “Pirates” series has certainly been a case of diminishing returns.
The main conceit here is that most of the running time is taken up by telling, or acting out, jokes.  This means that there are chunks of the film that involve a character asking someone else or the audience itself if they “heard the one about the [blank] and the [blank].”  Most of these segments involve jokes with punchlines based on stereotypes full of societal ugliness; homophobia, misogyny and racism.  A few feature kids saying “fuck” or joking about the clap. And a handful feature some pretty questionable topless women.  This essentially plays out in a seemingly endless cycle utilizing a small group of performers (these ain’t actors), with the rare Cyndi Lauper appearance.  Girl just wants ta have funds, I guess.

This will definitely not come back to haunt him years later and cause him to be tormented endlessly. Or turn to drugs and alcohol at a very young age. Or end in a stand-off with 14 SWAT officers in tenement house at the age of 17.

Lauper’s not the only “celebrity appearance,” but she’s probably the biggest.  The others happen in a short narrative that plays throughout.  These segments feature Christopher Meloni (who’s proven to have some comedic chops in Wet Hot American Summer), Robert Klein (a Dean of Comedy – whatever that means) and Mario Cantone (no comment).  This entire unfunny “subplot” is about Meloni playing a producer who wants to make a movie entirely full of dirty jokes and every character tells him it’s a terrible idea. It’s like the filmmakers sub-conscious sending them a message.

By the end of Dirty Movie I felt as if I had seen something quite reprehensible, as if everyone involved had no clue about advance in comedy after 1976. It’s an egregious waste of time and I hope no one who reads this lets their curiosity get the best of them.  Except for those working on a screenplay based on dirty limericks.

The Package

Same as the movie, a whole lot of nothing.

Rating:
½☆☆☆☆

Out of a Possible 5 Stars