What makes a Star Wars name? It’s got to sound a little odd but also flow off the tongue. It needs to be evocative and alien but also a little cartoony. Vowels are important. And if we’re talking about the Prequels, an on the nose homophone is never out of the question.
Here are eleven people (with one bonus person!) whose names sort of sound like Star Wars characters. Many of these were suggested by friends on my Twitter feed; I was going to point out specific people but since many of the names were repeated by many of my Twitter friends, I’ll just give a general shout out to everybody. Thanks for playing this game, guys. And dear reader, feel free to suggest more Real People Who Sound Like Star Wars Characters in the comments below. I’ve only scratched the surface of recommendations from Twitter friends here.
Dash Mihok
Is Really: A modern actor, best known for his supporting roles. Most recently he has been in Punisher War Zone, I Am Legend, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Hollywoodland
Would Be In Star Wars: Dash Mihok is a shadowy smuggler who struggles with his allegiances. He has a sister working for the Empire but his heart is with the Rebel Alliance. A handsome and daring Human, Dash runs secret missions for Mon Mothma.
Ub Iwerks
Is Really: A two-time Oscar winner, best friend of Walt Disney and the designer of Mickey Mouse.
Would Be In Star Wars: A member of the Bith race, like the members of the Cantina band in A New Hope, Ub Iwerks is an itinerant starship mechanic who signs up with the Rebel Alliance and meets his doom during the Battle of Yavin.
Padma Lakshmi
Is Really: Model, actress and host of Top Chef. Until recently the wife of Salman Rushdie.
Would Be In Star Wars: A beautiful Human noblewoman who lives on Coruscant, Padma Lakshmi is political only in the immediate sense of trying to gain as much power for herself as possible. This means she’s a possible operative for the Rebels, the Empire or any pirates or criminals who need someone on the inside.
CCH Pounder
Is Really: A well known modern actress with roles ranging from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit to Avatar.
Would Be In Star Wars: CCH Pounder (pronounced Ch’Pounder) is an Ewok warrior who showed special bravery during the ground phase of the Battle of Endor.
Apolo Ohno
Is Really: An American speed skater participating in the current Winter Olympics, racing in the 500m, 1000m, 1500m and 5000m relays.
Would Be In Star Wars: A beautiful Twi’lek dancer and prostitute who is just as skilled with a blaster as she is with her body.
Dith Pran
Is Really: A Cambodian photojournalist who survived the Cambodian Holocaust and was the subject of the film The Killing Fields.
Would Be In Star Wars: A savage Aqualish bounty hunter, Dith Pran had starship trouble and couldn’t make the big meeting on the Executor, and so he missed out on chasing Han Solo. The Aqualish are the race that includes Walrus Man, who lost his arm to Obi Wan Kenobi in the Mos Eisley Cantina.
Miep Gies
Is Really: A Dutch citizen who hid Anne Frank.
Would Be In Star Wars: A Human Tie Fighter pilot, Miep Gies is flying the first Fighter the Millenium Falcon sees as it approaches the Death Star. Later, he kills Porkins in battle, but is himself killed by Han Solo, who doesn’t realize it’s the same guy he saw at the beginning of the adventure.
Yngwie Malmsteen
Is Really: A guitar god.
Would Be In Star Wars: A Sullustan pilot and best friend of Nien Nunb. A totally cool dude to drink with, too.
Cam Gigandet
Is Really: A modern actor, Gigandet played the bad guy in Twilight.
Would Be In Star Wars: A brash but talented young Human Y-Wing pilot, Cam Gigandet made a real name for himself in the Battle of Yavin. He survived the Battle of Hoth, only to be vaporized during the Battle of Endor. A Y-Wing Bomber was named in his honor.
KRS-One
Is Really: One of the most influential rappers of the classical period.
Would Be In Star Wars: A fusty power droid with poor people skills, KRS-1 is essential in keeping the Massassi Temple on Yavin IV, the Rebel base in A New Hope, up and running.
Damon Bonesteel
Is Really: An executive at Warner Bros.
Would Be In Star Wars: A fierce Trandoshan warrior, Damon Bonesteel was Darth Sidious’ pupil before Darth Maul. Bonesteel caught Sidious’ attention using his innate Force powers, rare in Trandoshans, to amass a significant criminal empire and to destroy his enemies. But before Bonesteel could achieve a true Darth status he got ahead of himself and attacked his master. Sidious put him down slowly and painfully.
Notable Mention:
Nikki Finke
Is Really: A blogging Hollywood gossip hound.
Would Be In Star Wars: A Kowakian Monkey Lizard (the same race as Salacious Crumb), Nikki Finke lives in the most disreputable lower sections of Coruscant during the days of the Galactic Republic, breaking trusts and selling information to the highest bidder. At least she did until she pissed off the wrong Wookie, who ate her whole.